經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話大全
冷笑話是一種新興的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,伴隨著網(wǎng)絡(luò)的普及它已經(jīng)滲透到了青年群體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕松愉悅,也能展示交談?wù)叩挠哪椭腔邸Ｏ旅媸菍W(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話，歡迎閱讀!
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話篇一
After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."
在將母親下葬9個(gè)月后，當(dāng)?shù)貧泝x館的一個(gè)客戶終于攢夠了錢(qián)去買(mǎi)那副他早就相中的價(jià)值不菲的棺材了。他把母親的棺材挖了出來(lái)，將尸體轉(zhuǎn)移到了那副新的鋼制棺材中。“這副棺材有什么特別?”，我問(wèn)葬禮的承辦人。他回答說(shuō)，“這種棺材終生保修。
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話篇二
Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "
有一次，我收到一封感謝信，是一個(gè)我曾幫助過(guò)的朋友寄來(lái)的。信封內(nèi)有五張彩票，都被刮過(guò)了，露出了數(shù)字。“非常感謝您的幫助，”信上寫(xiě)道，“作為禮物，我給您買(mǎi)了些彩票----真遺憾，您沒(méi)中獎(jiǎng)。”
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話篇三
A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
一份報(bào)紙組織了一場(chǎng)競(jìng)賽，為下面的問(wèn)題征集最佳答案：“如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫(huà)，你將救出哪一幅?”
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."
獲獎(jiǎng)的答案是：“最接近門(mén)口的那一幅。”
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話篇四
One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim.What happened? Did your father help you?"
一天，蒂姆的數(shù)學(xué)老師看了他的作業(yè)，發(fā)現(xiàn)他全做對(duì)了。老師很高興，同時(shí)也十分驚訝。他把蒂姆叫到桌前說(shuō)："蒂姆，你這次的作業(yè)全都做對(duì)了，怎么回事?你爸爸幫你做了嗎?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it allmyself," said Tim."
不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話篇五
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
老師：湯姆，您為什么每天上學(xué)遲到?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話篇六
The Preacher Buys a Parrot
傳教士買(mǎi)鸚鵡
A preacher is buying a parrot.
一個(gè)傳教士在買(mǎi)鸚鵡。
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.
“你確信它不會(huì)尖叫，大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問(wèn)。
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.
“噢，絕對(duì)不會(huì)。它是一只虔誠(chéng)的鸚鵡。”店主向他保證。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."
“你看見(jiàn)它腿上的那些細(xì)繩了嗎?當(dāng)你拉動(dòng)右邊這根，它會(huì)背誦天主經(jīng);當(dāng)你拉動(dòng)左邊那根，它會(huì)背誦贊美詩(shī)。”
"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"
“太棒了!”傳教士說(shuō)，“但是如果我同時(shí)拉動(dòng)兩根繩子，會(huì)發(fā)生什么呢?”
"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.
“我會(huì)從樹(shù)干上掉下去，你這個(gè)笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說(shuō)道。
經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)課堂笑話篇七
Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."
我在郵局上班，對(duì)于顧客們的各種情緒早已習(xí)以為常了。所以，有一天當(dāng)一個(gè)生氣的顧客氣沖沖地來(lái)到我的工作臺(tái)時(shí)，我還是非常平靜地問(wèn)她，“有什么問(wèn)題嗎?”“我早上上街了，”女顧客說(shuō)，“我回到家的時(shí)候，我看到一個(gè)卡片，卡片說(shuō)郵遞員要給我們家送包裹，但沒(méi)人在家?？墒俏业恼煞蛘麄€(gè)早上都在家啊。他說(shuō)他什么都沒(méi)聽(tīng)到”。在表示了歉意之后，我把包裹給了她。“噢，太好了”，那位女顧客喜形于色。“我們等這東西都等多少年了!”“是什么好東西?”我問(wèn)。“我丈夫的新助聽(tīng)器”。
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