超級(jí)好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話精選
超級(jí)好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話精選
前蘇聯(lián)著名作家高爾基說(shuō)過(guò),“哪里有人,哪里就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。小編精心收集了超級(jí)好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
超級(jí)好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇1
孩子的觀點(diǎn)
A boy was wondering about a photograph in a newspaper. It showed a group of happy and cheering children carrying schoolbags with the caption at the bottom: "On Their Way To School''.
"It must be mistaken, I bet. They must be on their way home after school. I'm sure of this." the boy concluded.
一個(gè)小男孩正在看報(bào)紙上的一張照片。照片中是一幫孩子背著書(shū)包，高高興興地走在路上。照片下面一排小字寫(xiě)著：“上學(xué)路上”。
小男孩總結(jié)說(shuō)：“我打賭，一定是搞錯(cuò)了。他們肯定是在放學(xué)的路上，我肯定。”
超級(jí)好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇2
I hung him up to dry
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
Jim和Mary都是精神病院里的病人。一天，他們沿著醫(yī)院的游泳池散步，Jim突然跳入泳池的深水區(qū)，他沉到了底部。Mary立刻跳下去救他，她潛到水底，把Jim拉了上來(lái)。
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office.
當(dāng)院長(zhǎng)聽(tīng)聞了Mary的英勇行為后，他立刻翻看了她的病歷檔案,把她叫進(jìn)了自己的辦公室.
"Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained2 your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom，he's dead."
“Mary，我有一個(gè)好消息和一個(gè)壞消息要告訴你。好消息是你能跳入水中救其他病人，這說(shuō)明你的意識(shí)已經(jīng)恢復(fù)了，你可以出院了。壞消息就是，Jim，你救的那個(gè)病人，他還是用自己的浴袍帶子在浴室上吊自殺了。”
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I hung him up to dry."
Mary說(shuō)：“他沒(méi)有自殺，是我把他吊起來(lái)好讓他晾干。”
超級(jí)好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇3
What time is it now?
The two boys were camping in the backyard. When they couldn't figure out what time it was, the first boy said to the second, "Start singing very loud."
兩個(gè)男孩子在后院露營(yíng)，他們不知道到了晚上幾點(diǎn)鐘。于是，一個(gè)男孩對(duì)另外一個(gè)說(shuō)：“我們開(kāi)始大聲唱歌就行了。”
"How will that help?" said the second boy.
“那就會(huì)知道時(shí)間嗎?”第二個(gè)男孩問(wèn)。
"Just do it," insisted the first.
“只管唱吧。”第一個(gè)堅(jiān)持道。
Both boys broke into song, singing at the top of their lungs. Moments later, a neighbor threw open her window and shouted, "Keep it down! Don't you know it's three o'clock in the morning?"
兩個(gè)孩子開(kāi)始大聲唱歌，過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，一個(gè)鄰居打開(kāi)窗戶喊道：“小聲點(diǎn)!你們不知道現(xiàn)在是凌晨三點(diǎn)嗎?”
超級(jí)好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇4
哪有人能彎腰彎那么低的啊?
How could anyone stoop so low?
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
我們的餐廳經(jīng)理是一位深受大家愛(ài)戴，和藹而又快樂(lè)的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高。或者，我應(yīng)該說(shuō)，他是有點(diǎn)矮!一天，經(jīng)理怒氣沖沖地撞門而入，高聲說(shuō)，
“有人拿了我的錢包!”
我和其她大部女招待都沒(méi)敢吱聲，但有人卻蹦出一句話：
“哪有人能彎腰彎那么低的啊”!
超級(jí)好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇5
吝嗇鬼請(qǐng)客
The notorious1 cheap skate finally decided2 to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
一個(gè)出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說(shuō)：“你上到五樓，找中間那個(gè)門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開(kāi)了之后，再用你的腳把門推開(kāi)。”
“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會(huì)空著手來(lái)吧?”吝嗇鬼回答。
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