好笑的英文英語(yǔ)笑話大全
笑話,是供人們消遣或交際的一種創(chuàng)造性的語(yǔ)言形式,其主要功能是調(diào)侃、娛樂(lè)或諷刺。小編精心收集了好笑的英文英語(yǔ)笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
好笑的英文英語(yǔ)笑話篇1
Free advice? 免費(fèi)的建議?
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
醫(yī)生和律師正在一個(gè)宴會(huì)上交談。他們的談話常被一些人打斷，那些人向醫(yī)生描述自己的病癥，期望獲得免費(fèi)的治療建議。如此這般一個(gè)鐘頭后，醫(yī)生有點(diǎn)惱火，于是他問(wèn)律師：“如果不在辦公時(shí)間，你是怎么阻止人們向你咨詢法律問(wèn)題的?”
“我會(huì)給他們建議，”律師回答，“然后我會(huì)給他們寄去帳單”。醫(yī)生很震驚，但他還是決定這么試一試。第二天，帶著點(diǎn)犯罪感，他準(zhǔn)備了帳單。當(dāng)他準(zhǔn)備將它們放到郵箱里時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)了一張來(lái)自律師的帳單。
好笑的英文英語(yǔ)笑話篇2
Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
在休倫湖釣完魚(yú)后，我的一個(gè)朋友開(kāi)車拖著他的船回家。路上車壞了。 他沒(méi)帶手機(jī)，不過(guò)，他想，也許他可以通過(guò)海事無(wú)線廣播來(lái)請(qǐng)求公路援助。 于是，他爬到他的船里面，啟動(dòng)了無(wú)線裝置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸護(hù)衛(wèi)隊(duì)警官作出了回應(yīng)，“報(bào)告你的位置”。“I-75號(hào)公路，Standish 的南面兩英里”。沉默了好一會(huì)之后，警官問(wèn)我的朋友，“你的船靠岸時(shí)開(kāi)得有多快?”
好笑的英文英語(yǔ)笑話篇3
Very stupid robbers 兩個(gè)笨賊
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"
The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"
The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious!"
兩個(gè)盜賊在一家旅館偷東西。第一個(gè)說(shuō)：“我聽(tīng)到警報(bào)響了，快跳吧!”
第二個(gè)說(shuō)：“但是我們現(xiàn)在在第13層啊!”第一個(gè)尖叫著回敬他：“都什么時(shí)候了，還這么迷信!”
好笑的英文英語(yǔ)笑話篇4
Stopover 中途停留的優(yōu)惠
I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices. "Airfare to Denver is 0," the cheery salesperson replied. "And what about Salt Lake City?" "We have a really great rate to Salt Lake -- ," she said. "But there is a stopover." "Where?" "In Denver," she said.
我想去渡假，但拿不定主意到底是去鹽湖城還是去丹佛，于是我打電話到航空公司問(wèn)問(wèn)機(jī)票價(jià)格。“去丹佛的機(jī)票是300美元”，熱情的銷售人員回答。“那，去鹽湖城的呢?” “去鹽湖城我們有特別的優(yōu)惠，只要99美元”，她回答。“但中途要停一站。”“哪?”“在丹佛”。
好笑的英文英語(yǔ)笑話篇5
The Mean Man's Party 吝嗇鬼餐會(huì)
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
一個(gè)聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說(shuō)：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開(kāi)了后，再用你的腳把門推開(kāi)。”
“為什么我要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會(huì)空著手來(lái)吧?”
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