英語笑話帶翻譯爆笑你一定會喜歡

　　笑話篇幅短小，故事情節(jié)簡單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺，取得笑的藝術(shù)效果。大多揭示生活中乖謬的現(xiàn)象，具有諷刺性和娛樂性。下面一起來看看一些爆笑的英語短笑話吧。

　　1.Workman：“Mr.Brown，I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages. I have just been married.” Employer：“Very sorry，my dear man， but I can't helpyou. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside thefactory we are not responsible.”

　　工人：“布朗先生，我想請您給我加一點工資。我剛剛結(jié)了婚。” 雇主：“非常抱歉，老兄，但是我無能為力。對工人在廠外發(fā)生的事故我們概不負責(zé)。”

　　2.George comes from school on the first of September."George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother."I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

　　9月1日， 喬治放學(xué)回到家里。“喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎?” 媽媽問。“媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可后來又說2加4也得6。”

　　3.Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

　　Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

　　Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

　　布朗夫人：哦，

　　親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了!

　　史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊!

　　布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”

　　4It's not my fault

　　Mother (reprimanding訓(xùn)斥，譴責(zé) her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.

　　Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.

　　不是我的錯

　　媽媽(正教訓(xùn)她的女兒)：你不該拽貓的尾巴。

　　女兒：媽，我只是握著貓尾巴，它自己在拽。

　　5The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

　　"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

　　"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

　　一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

　　“沒有關(guān)系，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

　　“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”

　　6On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.

　　在觀看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼兒園老師問學(xué)生的觀后感。班上最小的女孩說，她希望舞蹈演員可以長得更高一點兒，那么他們就不用整天踮著腳尖了。

　　7Mother asked her little boy, Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?

　　Nothing, Mum, answered the son proundly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three.

　　母親問她年幼的兒子：寶貝，今天老師教了你些什么?

　　兒子驕傲地說：什么都沒教，媽媽。她反倒問我一加二等于幾，我告訴她等于三。

　　8Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam."

　　"Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied.

　　"Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

　　在期末考試之前，湯姆告訴他的母親：“媽媽，我昨天晚上做了一個夢，夢見我通過了今天的考試。”

　　“不要相信夢，親愛的。據(jù)說夢中的經(jīng)歷通常與現(xiàn)實相反。”媽媽答道。

　　“那么，我真希望在今晚的夢中，我的其他功課都不及格。”湯姆說。

　　9A small boy leading a donkey passed by an Army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the lad(少年，小伙子) . What are you holding onto your brother so tight for, sonny? asked one of them.

　　So he won't join the army, the youngster replied without blinking an eye.

　　一個小男孩牽著頭驢子穿過部隊營房。兩名士兵想跟小家伙開個玩笑：小孩，你把你哥哥牽得這么緊干什么?

　　這樣，他就不會去參軍了。小家伙眼都不眨地回答道。

　　10Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?

　　Student: Big hands.

　　老師：如果我左手上有7個桔子，右手上有8個桔子。那么我有什么?

　　學(xué)生：大手。

　　11When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.

　　The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, Which month did he go away?

　　杰克給人鞠躬，飛快地一點頭，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂禮貌。于是便有好心的人教他說，下次鞠躬的時候，你就在心里數(shù)：一月、二月、……一直數(shù)到十二月為止，然后再直起身來。這樣，禮節(jié)就周全了。

　　第二天，杰克見到他的叔叔，他便如法炮制。這躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一驚，趕緊逃開了。杰克抬頭一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便問過路人：我叔叔幾月走的?