英語(yǔ)爆笑小笑話

　　學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家整理的一些英語(yǔ)小笑話，希望我們的笑話欄目能夠給你的生活帶來(lái)一絲歡笑。

　　英語(yǔ)小笑話一：合理的憂傷

　　On his deathbed poor Lubin lies; His spouse is in despair; With frequent sobs and mutual cries; They both express their care. “A different cause，”says Parson Sly， “The same effect may give： Poor Lubin fears that he may die ; His wife，that he may live”.

　　馬修·普賴厄 可憐的魯賓躺在他的病床里; 他的妻子陷入絕望; 頻頻啜泣，相對(duì)哭啼， 他們都表達(dá)著憂傷。 “不同原因，”滑頭牧師說(shuō)， “可產(chǎn)生同樣結(jié)果： 可憐的魯賓怕他會(huì)死; 他老婆，怕他會(huì)活。”

　　Compare other things?比一下其他?

　　Compare other things?比一下其他?

　　Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon’s name signed.

　　Mom: You just care about this? Haven’t you compared other things?

　　Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.

　　兒子：媽媽，John有雙喬丹簽名的球鞋。

　　媽媽：你只關(guān)心這個(gè)嗎?不會(huì)比一下其它東西?

　　兒子：有啊，他媽媽比你漂亮。

　　英語(yǔ)小笑話二：Is he dying?

　　A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.

　　Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.

　　一個(gè)男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流淚。一個(gè)朋友走進(jìn)來(lái)問(wèn)他為何如此傷心。那人哭著說(shuō)：剛才醫(yī)生告訴我，在我的余生里都要吃這些藥片。

　　他的朋友很輕松地指出，許多人一輩子每天都要吃藥。當(dāng)然，男人回答說(shuō)：但是他只給了我十片。

　　The blonde and the farmer

　　There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。

　　一個(gè)金發(fā)女郎，是那么惡心的黃色笑話她把頭發(fā)染成紅色。笑話停了下來(lái)，她覺(jué)得很好，她在農(nóng)村的一個(gè)搭車的星期六下午。而在這旅程，她注意到一群羊，停下車來(lái)把......。

　　英語(yǔ)小笑話三：太晚了 It's Too Late

　　A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."

　　A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."

　　一個(gè)醫(yī)科學(xué)生被要求說(shuō)明他給病人服的那種藥的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”

　　一分鐘后，這個(gè)學(xué)生問(wèn)教授：“我可以改正我的回答嗎?”教授看看手表，說(shuō)：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒鐘以前死了。”

　　英語(yǔ)小笑話四：The Fish Net

　　Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

　　“你能告訴我魚網(wǎng)是什么做的嗎，安?” 老師發(fā)問(wèn)道。

　　A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

　　“把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網(wǎng)了。”小女孩回答道。

　　英語(yǔ)小笑話五：Isn’t it wonderful?

　　"What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man.

　　"I broke a mirror," he replied.

　　"But that means seven years of bad luck."

　　"I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’t it wonderful?"

　　這難道不好嗎?

　　“你高興什么?”一個(gè)女士問(wèn)一個(gè)98歲的老人。

　　“我打碎了一個(gè)鏡子。”他回答。

　　“但那預(yù)示著7年的壞運(yùn)氣。”

　　“我知道。”他高興地說(shuō)，“這難道不好嗎?”

　　英語(yǔ)小笑話六：Whats time to a pig?

　　One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

　　一天，有一個(gè)城市里的游客來(lái)到一個(gè)小鄉(xiāng)村，在鄉(xiāng)間路上開著車，想看看農(nóng)莊是什么樣子，也想看看農(nóng)夫怎樣種田過(guò)日子。這位城里人看見一位農(nóng)夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱著一頭豬，并把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城里人對(duì)農(nóng)夫說(shuō)，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費(fèi)時(shí)間嗎?"那位農(nóng)夫 回答說(shuō)，“時(shí)間對(duì)豬有什么意義?”