下面是學習啦小編整理的英語經(jīng)典冷笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語經(jīng)典冷笑話：

　　An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: Anyone knows the formula for water?

　　Sure. That's easy, said one man.

　　What is it?

　　H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.

　　What, what? reasked the instructor.

　　H to O, explained the chemistry expert.

　　生化戰(zhàn)爭課的老師在課堂上問士兵們：誰知道水的分子式?

　　當然，太簡單了。一個士兵回答道。

　　是什么?

　　H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.

　　什么，什么?老師又問道。

　　H to O，化學專家解釋道。

　　英語經(jīng)典冷笑話:

　　Seth Smith was reckoned the laziest man in town. Sotired had the authorities become of contributing to his supportthat they decided to consign him to a living tomb. Accordinglyhe was prepared for burial. The hearse was an old ramshacklecountry wagon.

　　As the strange cortege moved along some old residentasked, Who is it?

　　Why, Seth Smith, who is too lazy to get anything to liveon, so we are going to bury him alive.

　　I'll give him a bushel of corn, said one. And I will，said another.

　　Slowly raising his head, Seth asked: Is the corn shelled，neighbor?

　　No，you must do that yourself.

　　Gently replacing his head, he said: Drive on, boys, drive on.

　　塞思·史密斯被公認為鎮(zhèn)上頭號懶人。長官們實在懶得 再供養(yǎng)他，便決定把他送進一個天然墳?zāi)估锶?。于是他被準備著去埋葬，靈車是一輛搖搖晃晃的鄉(xiāng)下舊馬車。

　　正當這列奇怪的送葬隊伍在行進時，一些老街坊問道：這是誰啊?

　　唉，塞思·史密斯，他懶得沒法活了，我們這就去把他活埋。

　　我來給他一蒲式耳谷子吧，一個人說。我也給，另一個說。

　　塞思慢慢抬起頭來問道：谷子脫粒了嗎，街坊?

　　沒有，你得自己來。

　　他緩緩把頭放回原處說：接著走吧，孩子們，接著走吧。

　　英語經(jīng)典冷笑話:A Jealous Wife

　　There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night

　　and she couldn’t find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, Great, so now you’

　　re cheating on me with a bald woman!

　　The next night, when she didn’t smell any perfume, she yelled again by

　　saying, She’s not only bald, but she’s too cheap to buy any perfume!

　　吃醋的妻子

　　從前有個妻子醋勁很大。一天晚上丈夫回家，她沒有從他衣服上找到頭發(fā)，于是大叫：好啊，現(xiàn)在你開始和禿頭的女人騙我了!

　　第二天晚上，她沒有從丈夫衣服上聞到香水味，于是又大叫：她不但是個禿頭，而且很窮酸，連香水都不買。

　　英語經(jīng)典冷笑話：The World's Greatest Swordsman

　　At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.

　　His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.

　　Why are you so happy? someone yelled. You missed!

　　Ah, replied the swordsman, you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father.

　　世界上最偉大的擊劍手

　　在一場世界最佳擊劍手表演中，排名第三的擊劍手上場了。一只蒼蠅放了出來，劍劃了一個弧，他將蒼蠅劈成了兩半。觀眾歡呼起來。緊接著排名第二的人將一只蒼蠅切成了四半?，F(xiàn)場一陣沉默，人們期盼著世界上最偉大的擊劍手出場。

　　他的劍鋒以一個巨大的弧線劃了下來--然而那只昆蟲還在繼續(xù)飛行!觀眾被驚呆了。最偉大的擊劍手完全錯過了他的目標，然而他還在微笑著。

　　你為什么這么高興?有人嚷道，你沒擊中!

　　啊，劍手答道，你剛才沒有很仔細地看。蒼蠅還活著，是的--但他永遠也做不成爸爸了。

　　英語經(jīng)典冷笑話：合理的憂傷

　　On his deathbed poor Lubin lies; His spouse is in despair; With frequent sobs and mutual cries; They both express their care. “A different cause，”says Parson Sly， “The same effect may give： Poor Lubin fears that he may die ; His wife，that he may live”.

　　馬修·普賴厄 可憐的魯賓躺在他的病床里; 他的妻子陷入絕望; 頻頻啜泣，相對哭啼， 他們都表達著憂傷。 “不同原因，”滑頭牧師說， “可產(chǎn)生同樣結(jié)果： 可憐的魯賓怕他會死; 他老婆，怕他會活。”

　　英語經(jīng)典冷笑話：Compare other things?比一下其他?

　　Compare other things?比一下其他?

　　Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon’s name signed.

　　Mom: You just care about this? Haven’t you compared other things?

　　Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.

　　兒子：媽媽，John有雙喬丹簽名的球鞋。

　　媽媽：你只關(guān)心這個嗎?不會比一下其它東西?

　　兒子：有啊，他媽媽比你漂亮。