外國英語趣味笑話閱讀

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放松自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)硗鈬⒄Z趣味笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　外國英語趣味笑話：為什么選擇學(xué)醫(yī)

　　A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumbertype things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for 0.

　　一個(gè)醫(yī)生家的水管子裂了，他叫來了一個(gè)管鉗工人。工人到后，打開工具箱，在管子上弄了幾下，別人也搞不清他都做了些什么，然后，就遞給了醫(yī)生一張600美元的帳單。

　　The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a doctor!" The plumber waited for him to finish and quietly said, "Neither did I when I was a doctor.”

　　醫(yī)生問:“太可笑了，我做醫(yī)生也沒掙這么多錢啊!”管鉗工人等著拿錢時(shí)，禮貌地說:“我當(dāng)醫(yī)生的時(shí)候，也沒想到會這樣。”

　　外國英語趣味笑話：我解雇秘書的原因

　　One man explaining to another why he fired his secretary:

　　一個(gè)男士在向另外一個(gè)男士解釋他為什么解雇了自己的秘書。

　　"Two Weeks ago,” I said, "was my forty一fifth birthday and I wasn’t feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went into the kitchen for breakfast knowing that my wife would be pleasant and say ` Happy Birthday' and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say ‘Good Morning' let alone say ‘Happy Birthday’.”

　　他說:“兩星期以前是我45歲的生日，可那天早晨，我一點(diǎn)都不覺得興奮。我走進(jìn)廚房去吃早餐，心想妻子一定會高興的對我說生日快樂，也許她還會為我準(zhǔn)備了一份禮物，可她卻連‘早安’都沒說，就更不用說‘生日快樂’了。

　　"I said to myself ‘Well that’s wives for you. The children will remember.’ But the children came into breakfast and didn't say a word. And when I started to the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.”

　　當(dāng)時(shí)我對自己說，這只是太太，孩子們一定會記得的，可是當(dāng)孩子們進(jìn)來吃早餐的時(shí)候，居然連一個(gè)詞都沒提。我要去上班了，心里覺得特別的失落和沮喪。

　　"As I walked into my office, Janet said ‘Good Morning, Boss-Happy Birthday' and I felt a little bit better that someone had remembered.”

　　當(dāng)我走進(jìn)辦公室的時(shí)候，簡尼特對我說:‘老板，早晨好，生日快樂’，我感到了一絲欣慰，畢竟還有人記得呀!

　　"I worked until noon. About noon, Janet knocked on my door and said, `You know it's such a beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, so let's go to lunch, just you and I'.” I said, "By George, that is the greatest thing I have heard all day. Let's go.”

　　我工作到了中午，簡尼特敲開我的門說:‘你知道嗎?今天外面多美啊，正巧又是你的生日，我們?nèi)コ晕绮桶?，就你和我?rsquo;我說:‘太棒了，這是我一天中聽到的最令人興奮的事情，那我們快走吧。’

　　"We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go. We went out into the country to a private place. We had two Martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.”

　　于是我們?nèi)コ晕绮?，我們沒到平時(shí)去的地方，而是去了鄉(xiāng)村一個(gè)很隱蔽的地方，我們喝了兩瓶馬丁尼酒，快樂地享受著午餐。

　　"On the way back to the office, she said, ‘You know, it's such a beautiful day we don't need to go back to the office, do we?’ I said, ‘No, I guess not.’ She said, ‘Let’s go by my apartment, and I’11 fix you another Martini.’ ”

　　在回辦公室的路上，她說:‘你知道嗎?今天是多么美好的一天啊，我們都不想回辦公室對吧?’我說:‘我想是的。’她又說:‘那我們?nèi)ノ业募野?我為你再開一瓶馬丁尼酒。’

　　"We went to her apartment. We enjoyed another Martini and smoked a cigarette and she said, ‘Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'11 go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable’ and I allowed her as I didn't mind at all.”

　　于是我們來到了她的家，又喝了一瓶酒，還抽了一些香煙。她說:‘老板，如果你不介意，我想去臥室換一身舒適的衣服，’我告訴她我一點(diǎn)都不介意，還讓她快去。

　　"She went into the bedroom and in about six minutes she ca

　　她走進(jìn)臥室，大約6分鐘后，走出來，拿著一個(gè)大的生日蛋糕，身后卻是我的妻子和孩子們，他們齊聲合唱:‘祝你生日快樂’?？蛇@時(shí)我卻是一絲不掛，只穿著一雙襪子坐在那里。”

　　外國英語趣味笑話：一封遺囑

　　one day a very sick old man calls his doctor, his lawyer, and his CPA to his deathbed:

　　一位得了重病的老人把他的醫(yī)生、律師和會計(jì)師叫到了自己的病床前。

　　old man: "I am giving you each an envelope containing 0, 000 cash, my life savings. When I die, I want to take it all with me. As the three people I most trust, I want you to be the last three to file by my coffin at the funeral, each placing the money in the coffin.

　　老人說:我會給你們每人一個(gè)裝有io萬美元現(xiàn)金的信封，這是我一生的積蓄，在我死后，我想隨身帶走，你們是我最值得信賴的人，所以在我的葬禮上，請你們排在走過我棺材隊(duì)伍的最后，然后把錢放進(jìn)我的棺材里。

　　Several days later the old man dies. The doctor, lawyer, and CPA file by the coffin, each placing an envelope, and the man is buried. Some weeks later, the three meet at the golf course. The doctor calls the other two aside.

　　幾天后老人去世了，醫(yī)生、律師和會計(jì)師排隊(duì)走過棺材，每個(gè)人都往棺材里放了一個(gè)信封，老人被埋葬了。幾個(gè)星期后，三個(gè)人在高爾夫球課上碰見了。

　　Doctor: "I have an admission to make. I needed X30, 000 to pay for a new Mercedes, so I took what I needed out of the envelope, and I feel terrible about it!”

　　醫(yī)生對旁邊的兩個(gè)人說:“我要坦白一件事，因?yàn)槲倚枰?0000美元買一輛新的奔馳車，所以，我從信封中拿走了我急需用的錢，我現(xiàn)在感到很不安。”

　　CPA:"I also feel terrible. I needed ，000 to pay for a new yacht，so I also took what I needed from the envelope.”

　　會計(jì)師說:“我也感到不安，因?yàn)槲倚枰?0000美元來買一艘新的小快艇，所以我也從信封拿了我要用的錢。”

　　Lawyer: "You two should be ashamed of yourselves, I’ll have you know that I put a check for the entire 0,000 in the coffin.”

　　律師:“你們真應(yīng)該對自己的所作所為感到慚愧，我要告訴你們，我可是將整整10萬美元的賬單放進(jìn)了棺材里。”