幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)故事四則

　　在繁忙的生活中，也要偶爾放松自己的心情。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)故事四則，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)故事：除卡之外

　　After many years of wanting an automatic-teller card, I finally got one. The first time I used it was at a bank machine in a nearby college town. A student was there, when I arrived，and I asked him if he'd like to help me figure out the proper procedure.

　　多少年來(lái)我總盼望有張自動(dòng)取款卡，現(xiàn)在我終于有了。記得第一次我在大學(xué)城附近的一個(gè)銀行自動(dòng)提款機(jī)上使用我的卡時(shí)，我問(wèn)站在旁邊的一個(gè)學(xué)生，是否能幫我使用這個(gè)機(jī)器的程序。“當(dāng)然，”他回答。

　　"Sure，"he replied.

　　我向他解擇說(shuō)我想存一筆錢(qián)。他打斷了我說(shuō):“我想我?guī)筒涣四懔?，我從未存過(guò)錢(qián).”

　　I explained that I wanted to make a deposit. He cut me off and said, "I don't think I can help you. I've never made a deposit.”

　　幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)故事：分別對(duì)待

　　On a visit to the United States，Gorbachev met a Russian who had immigrated to this country. "What do you do for a living here?"the Soviet leader asked him.

　　在出訪美國(guó)期間，戈?duì)柊蛦谭蛴鲆?jiàn)了一位移居美國(guó)的俄國(guó)人。“你在這兒靠什么謀生?”蘇聯(lián)的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)問(wèn)他。

　　"My brother, my sister and I work in a big factory.”

　　“我哥、我妹和我在一個(gè)大工廠工作.”

　　"How do these capitalist bosses treat you?"

　　“那兒的資本家對(duì)你們?cè)鯓?”

　　"Just fine，"answered the man.“In fact，if you are walking home from work, the boss picks you up in his big car and drives you to your door. Another time，he treats you to a dinner in an expensive restaurant. Sometimes he takes you home for the weekend and buys you presents.”

　　“還不錯(cuò)，”那人回答，“事實(shí)上，如果你下班回家，老板會(huì)讓你搭坐他的豪華車，把你送到家。有時(shí)侯，他還請(qǐng)你去豪華的飯店吃一頓。有時(shí)候，他邀你到他家去度周末，還送給你禮物。”

　　Gorbachev was stunned.”How often does this happen?"

　　戈?duì)柊蛦谭蚝艹泽@:“這種事多久有一回?”

　　"Well，to me，actually never. But to my sister，several times. "

　　“嗯，對(duì)我嘛，還沒(méi)有一次呢。但對(duì)我妹妹，已經(jīng)有好幾次了。”

　　幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)故事：后知之明

　　Several years ago, the Connecticut state police were required to put chains on their tires after the first snowfall.One officer, failing to do so，found himself in a skid that flipped the car over onto its roof.

　　幾年前，康涅狄格州的警方對(duì)警察們有這樣一個(gè)要求——在下第一場(chǎng)雪后，把車胎上加上鐵鏈。有一個(gè)警官就沒(méi)這么做，也巧他在一次車子打滑中翻了車，車底朝上。

　　A woman called the police station to report the accident. In reply to inquires on the officer's condition，she said，"Well，he seems okay, but you'd better get. someone out here real quick. He's standing on the car，putting chains on the tires !”

　　一位婦女給警方打電話報(bào)告了這個(gè)事玫。在問(wèn)其該警官的處境時(shí)，她報(bào)告說(shuō):“他看上去沒(méi)事兒，不過(guò)，你們最好快點(diǎn)把他弄走，他正站在車底盤(pán)上給輪胎套鏈子呢!"

　　幽默爆笑英語(yǔ)故事：說(shuō)實(shí)話

　　One Sunday morning a minister apologized to his congregation for the bandage on his face. "I was thinking about my sermon while shaving,”he explained，" and cut my face.”

　　一個(gè)星期天的早上，牧師向公眾道歉自己臉上的膠布，“刮臉的時(shí)候，我在考慮我的說(shuō)教詞，”他解釋著，“所以就把臉劃破了。”

　　Afterward，in the collection plate，he found a note:"Next time，why not think about your face and cut the sermon. "

　　布道之后，在捐款盤(pán)上，他發(fā)現(xiàn)一個(gè)紙條，上面寫(xiě)著:“下次，為什么不考慮一下你的臉，而把說(shuō)教詞劃了呢?"