輕松英語(yǔ)幽默故事三則
輕松英語(yǔ)幽默故事三則
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話(huà)是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。笑話(huà)使人們?cè)诳贪宓纳钪懈械揭唤z快意和放松，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調(diào)劑作用。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)輕松英語(yǔ)幽默故事，歡迎大家閱讀!
輕松英語(yǔ)幽默故事：速度限制
The British RAF base where I was stationed as part of a contingent of USAF personnel had one narrow road winding through the crowded residential area. After a rash of minor vehicle pedestrian accidents, the USAF commander decided to reduce the speed limit to three m.p.h.
Shortly after the new limit was posted, an MP sergeant issued a speeding citation to a jeep driver for going five m.p.h. I was curious to know how the MP had determined the jeep's speed so exactly. "I was jogging to get to the PX before it closed," he explained, "and as I passed the jeep, I noticed that the speedometer read five m.p.h."
我作為美國(guó)空軍人員分遣部隊(duì)的一員駐扎在英國(guó)皇家空軍某某地，那里有一條狹窄的馬路蜿蜒穿過(guò)擁擠的居民區(qū)。因?yàn)槎啻纬霈F(xiàn)汽車(chē)撞傷行人一類(lèi)不甚嚴(yán)重的車(chē)禍，美國(guó)空軍司令員決定將車(chē)速限制在每小時(shí)三英里。
新的車(chē)速限制公布后不久，一名騎警中士因一名吉普車(chē)司機(jī)開(kāi)車(chē)時(shí)速達(dá)五英里而給他開(kāi)了一張超速傳票。
我很想知道騎警是怎樣如此精確地知道那輛吉普車(chē)的速度的。“我遛達(dá)著要在郵局關(guān)門(mén)之前到達(dá)那里，”他解釋道：“當(dāng)我超過(guò)吉普車(chē)時(shí)，我注意到計(jì)速器指向了每小時(shí)五英里。”
輕松英語(yǔ)幽默故事：快速反應(yīng)
My battery commander and I were interviewing candidates for a position as reconnaissance sergeant in our artillery unit. The selected soldier needed to have keen eyesight, plus the ability to react quickly. During one interview, the commander pointed to a hill about a mile away and asked a young sergeant, "Can you see that hill over there?"
"Yes, sir." he replied.
"Can you see the radio antenna on that hill?" Again, the soldier said that he could. "Well, then," the commander went on, "Can you see that bird sitting on the antenna?"
The sergeant leaned forward and squinted. "No, sir," he said, "but I can hear it is singing."
He got the job.
我和連長(zhǎng)在面試我們炮兵部隊(duì)偵察中士一職的候選人。被選的士兵要求有敏銳的觀察力及快速的反應(yīng)力。在一次面試時(shí)，連長(zhǎng)指著一英里外的一座小山問(wèn)一名年輕的中士：“你能看見(jiàn)那座山嗎?”
“是的，長(zhǎng)官。”他回答道。
“你能看見(jiàn)那座山上的無(wú)線電天線嗎?”那士兵又說(shuō)他能。“那么，”連長(zhǎng)接著說(shuō)：“你能看見(jiàn)停在天線上的那只鳥(niǎo)嗎?”
那名中士身體前傾，眼睛瞇成一條縫。“看不見(jiàn)，長(zhǎng)官，”他說(shuō)，“但我聽(tīng)見(jiàn)它在唱歌。”
他得到了那份工作。
輕松英語(yǔ)幽默故事：正是士兵
As a newly commissinaed infantry lieutenant, I was eager to set an example for my platoon by cleaning my own M-16 rifle. While we were working on the weapons, one soldier complained about the unusual notched shape of the M-16's bolt and chamber, which makes it difficult to clean.
"Lieutenant, they need to make something to clean this with," the soldier said.
"They do," piped up a sergeant.
"Really," I said with surprise, wondering why we had not ordered such a tool.
"Yes, sir," replied the sergeant. "It's called a soldier."
正是士兵
作為一名新上任的步兵中尉，我通過(guò)擦拭自己的M-16式自動(dòng)步槍給全排作個(gè)榜樣。我們一塊擦槍?zhuān)幻麘?zhàn)士抱怨由于M-16的槍栓槍膛的特別凹形結(jié)構(gòu)，擦起來(lái)十分困難。
“中尉，應(yīng)該制造一種擦這槍的工具。”士兵說(shuō)。
“已經(jīng)制造出來(lái)了。”一軍士尖叫。
“真的?”我十分詫異，納悶為什么我們沒(méi)有定購(gòu)這種工具。
“真的，長(zhǎng)官，”軍士答道，“它就是士兵。”
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