節(jié)日英語笑話
1. Why are people tired on April Fool's Day? (愚人節(jié)人們?yōu)槭裁雌＞?)
答：Because they have just had a long March. ( 因?yàn)樗麄儎傔^了長長的三月。March 三月;行軍)
2.What weather do mice and rats fear? (老鼠害怕什么天氣?)
答：When it's raining cats and dogs.(下大雨。rain cats and dogs 下大雨 )
3.When do dogs refuse to follow their masters? (狗什么時(shí)候不愿跟隨主人?)
答：When their masters go to the flea market.(主人去跳蚤市場時(shí)。Flea 跳蚤 flea market 舊貨市場 )
4.What question can never be answered by “yes”? (哪個(gè)問題永遠(yuǎn)不能回答“是的”?)
答：Are you asleep? (你睡著了嗎)
5.What tree is always very sad? (哪種樹總是很傷心?)
答：Weeping willow. ( 垂柳 weep哭泣 willow柳樹)
6.When can you get water with a net? (什么時(shí)候可以用網(wǎng)兜裝水?)
答：When water is turned into ice. (當(dāng)水結(jié)成冰時(shí))
7.Why is the pig always eating?豬為什么沒完沒了地吃?
答：He's making a hog of himself.它想成為一只肉豬。
8.What's the longest word in the world?世界上最長的單詞是什么?
答：Smiles. Because there's a mile between the letter 's'.微笑。因?yàn)閮蓚€(gè)字母S中間隔了一里。
9.What question is that to which you must always answer "yes"? 什么問題你只能回答“yes”?
答："What does y-e-s spell?" (當(dāng)別人問你)“yes”怎么拼?
10.Where were you when the power was cut off? 當(dāng)停電的時(shí)候你在哪?
答：In the darkness. 在黑暗中
關(guān)于圣誕節(jié)的英語笑話
A half-eaten egg was a result it becomes a leftover egg! I wish Merry Christmas
一個(gè)雞蛋被吃剩半邊，結(jié)果它變成了剩蛋!預(yù)祝圣誕快樂
The thief and the judge
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
法官與小偷
那天是圣誕節(jié)，法官在審訊犯人時(shí)也有點(diǎn)惻隱之心。“你為什么而被起訴?”他問。
“采購圣誕節(jié)物品過早。”被告答。
“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購物多早?”
在商店開門之前，“犯人應(yīng)道。
Jesus's Telly
A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.
"But what's that in the corner?" asked Mother.
"Oh, that's their telly," replied the tot.
耶穌的電視機(jī)
圣誕節(jié)時(shí)孩子要了紙和蠟筆，想畫一張耶穌誕生像。最后這件藝術(shù)品被陳列出來供父母鑒賞。
他們對耶穌誕生后睡的馬槽，牧羊人，耶穌及其家庭都逐一表示贊賞。
“可是那個(gè)角落里是什么?”媽媽問。
“噢，那是他們的電視機(jī)，”孩子回答說。
What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?
Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe
圣誕老人喜歡在花園里做什么?
答案：鋤地。(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是鋤草之意，ho則是圣誕老人的笑聲。)
On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?
Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!
圣誕節(jié)前夕，圣誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律師在一家高級飯店一同等電梯，門還未開前，三人同時(shí)看到地上有一張新臺(tái)幣1000元的鈔票，猜猜誰會(huì)將它撿起?
答案：當(dāng)然是圣誕老人啦!為什么?因?yàn)榇蠹叶贾懒硗鈨烧卟⒉淮嬖凇?/p>
英語：If you have not received my Christmas present, it has to be because of - your socks have a big hole! Bu Bu it fast! !中文：如果你今天沒收到我的圣誕禮物，那一定是因?yàn)?-你的襪子有個(gè)大洞! 快補(bǔ)補(bǔ)吧!!
英語：a few days later I heard that you want to have eggs, that true? That I wish you lay eggs (Christmas) Happy! In a few days you have to Egg's full moon, I also wish you a round ahead of eggs (New Year's Day) Happy! Send中文：聽說你過幾天要生個(gè)蛋,真的嗎?那我得祝你生蛋(圣誕)快樂!再過幾天你的蛋蛋又要滿月,那么我就也提前祝你圓蛋(元旦)快樂! 發(fā)送
英語：I wish to Santa Claus on Christmas Eve: I hope that no matter how bad your feet, wear socks when tomorrow morning, I'll give you receive the full blessing, the warmth of your heart and feet ㄚ子!中文：平安夜我向圣誕老人許愿：希望不管你腳多么臭，明早當(dāng)穿起襪子時(shí)，能收到我給你的滿滿的祝福，溫暖你的心和腳ㄚ子!