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      學(xué)習(xí)啦 > 學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ) > 英語(yǔ)閱讀 > 英語(yǔ)笑話 >

      100句雷死人的英語(yǔ)翻譯(2)

      時(shí)間: 若木0 分享
      50、God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

        上帝一定倍兒愛(ài)SB,不然他造這么多!!!!!!!

        51、I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it&hellip;so I said “Implants?”

        瞅見(jiàn)個(gè)姐姐,胸前衣服上寫(xiě)著“Guess”&hellip;俺就問(wèn)了一句:“&hellip;隆過(guò)?”

        52、 Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

        孩子就是:你先花2年,教丫們走路和說(shuō)話。然后你再花16年教丫們坐定和閉嘴。

        53、Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

        為什么當(dāng)你說(shuō)天上有400億星星時(shí)他不懷疑,卻偏要檢查你所說(shuō)的“油漆未干”?

        54、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

        上帝瞅著咱們呢,大伙好歹喜感點(diǎn)吧!

        55、Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

        無(wú)論,在任何情況下,永遠(yuǎn),不要在一個(gè)夜晚,同時(shí)吃,安眠藥,和通便靈。

        56、Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

        直譯:不要用眼鏡腿來(lái)打男人,用棒球擊桿。

        意譯: 要下手就得狠,甭來(lái)毛毛雨。

        57、There&rsquo;s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can&rsquo;t get away.

        直譯:要想留住誰(shuí),在抱摔的時(shí)候有一條細(xì)線區(qū)分出你是否為高手。

        其他譯法:抱摔是留不住女人的,摟抱才管用。/抱和爆是有區(qū)別的。 /推倒和擁抱是有微妙的區(qū)別的喲!/擁抱和柔道里的壓制是有區(qū)別的!

        58、A bargain is something you don&rsquo;t need at a price you can&rsquo;t resist.

        所謂砍價(jià),就是這東西雖然你不需要,但價(jià)格太好必須要買下來(lái)!

        59、Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

        絕對(duì)不要和長(zhǎng)得丑的爭(zhēng)執(zhí),他們已經(jīng)沒(méi)什么可輸?shù)牧恕?/p>

        60、My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

        我的觀點(diǎn)或許改變了,但我是正確的這一事實(shí)卻亙古不變。

        意譯:我們要搞共產(chǎn)主義,也要搞有中國(guó)特色的社會(huì)主義。

        61、My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you&rsquo;re ugly too.

        心理醫(yī)師:你神經(jīng)病!!! 我:能說(shuō)點(diǎn)別的嗎?

        心理醫(yī)師:好!!而且你真TM丑!!!

        62、 A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don&rsquo;t know son, I&rsquo;m still paying.”

        一單純傻兒子問(wèn)他爹:“爸,結(jié)婚到底要花多少錢(qián)啊?”他爸說(shuō):“兒啊,我真不知道&hellip;沒(méi)看見(jiàn)我還在交錢(qián)嗎?”

        63、 Some people say “If you can&rsquo;t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can&rsquo;t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

        有人說(shuō)“打不過(guò),就合作”。我說(shuō)“打不過(guò),也要打”。因?yàn)檠緜冎竿慵尤?,得?lái)點(diǎn)驚喜~!

        64、When in doubt, mumble.

        腦子不好使的話,你就嘟囔。

        不明白的話,哼哼試試。

        65、I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

        我已決定長(zhǎng)生不老,目前為止,感覺(jué)良好。

        66、Hospitality: making your guests feel like they&rsquo;re at home, even if you wish they were

        好客就是:讓客人覺(jué)得他們像在他們家一樣,盡管你真的希望他們滾回他們家。

        67、If at first you don&rsquo;t succeed, skydiving is not for you!

        跳傘是這樣一種運(yùn)動(dòng):不成功則成仁!

        68、A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

        電視侮辱你的智商,電腦則是吐你槽的終極存在!

        69、Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

        知識(shí)就是力量,力量會(huì)邪惡化。那么就好好學(xué)習(xí)當(dāng)大魔王吧!

        70、Money can&rsquo;t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

        錢(qián)買不來(lái)幸福,但有了它,痛苦的日子會(huì)好熬一點(diǎn)。

        71、Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won&rsquo;t expect it back.

        跟悲觀主義者借錢(qián)吧!他反正不指望你還!!!

        72、Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

        擔(dān)憂真的好使!!老子擔(dān)心的事兒90%都沒(méi)發(fā)生!!

        73、Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.

        貞操如泡影,一戳無(wú)蹤影。

        74、Nostalgia isn&rsquo;t what it used to be.

        這年頭,連懷舊都不如從前夠味兒了。

        75、With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

        只要主義真,豬也成超人。

        信春哥 ,得永生

        76、I should&rsquo;ve known it wasn&rsquo;t going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I&rsquo;m a Libra and she&rsquo;s a bitch.

        我早就該知道我跟我EX沒(méi)戲!歸根結(jié)底,我是天枰她是JP!

        77、Hallmark Card: “I&rsquo;m so miserable without you, it&rsquo;s almost like you&rsquo;re still here.”

        豪馬克卡上的話:沒(méi)有你我痛苦萬(wàn)分,正如你就在此處。(沒(méi)有女人冷冷清清,有了女人雞犬不寧)

        78、You&rsquo;re never too old to learn something stupid.

        越活越2~ /活到老,2到老

        79、A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

        直譯:外交家們說(shuō)讓你下地獄的時(shí)候,措辭也好像你正巴不得來(lái)這么趟旅行。

        80、 I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I&rsquo;m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You&rsquo;ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won&rsquo;t be able to get into the corners very well.”

        我和個(gè)壯漢鬧急了。 他:老子非得用你丫臉把地給擦了!!! 我:你會(huì)后悔的!! 他:噢?真噠?怎么講?我:呃,邊邊角角的地方你擦不到!!!

        81、Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

        有些人吹牛說(shuō)丫能通靈,有些人吹牛說(shuō)丫有陰陽(yáng)眼,其他人只是沒(méi)有這種想象力而已

        82、I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

        啊我好愛(ài)好愛(ài)工作啊~ 工作讓我好著迷啊~我**死盯著它幾個(gè)小時(shí)了啊!

        83、We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

        槍支管理不是問(wèn)題,SB管理才是問(wèn)題

        84、Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

        女人或許擊得并不重,但她們擊得更低&hellip;..

        女人總是能擊中男人的要害。

        85、Just remember&hellip;if the world didn&rsquo;t suck, we&rsquo;d all fall off.

        直譯:記著吧&hellip;&hellip;世界要不惡心,我們?cè)绫煌碌袅恕?/p>

        別抱怨了,這個(gè)世界要是真和諧了,我們這種人就不應(yīng)該存在~

        意譯:你們**給我記?。簺](méi)有和諧社會(huì),你們?cè)缱屆赖蹏?guó)主義給糟蹋了!

        86、Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you&rsquo;re an asshole.

        上帝蜀黍疼你,只是大家都覺(jué)得你2B而已

        87、I used to be indecisive. Now I&rsquo;m not sure.

        a. 過(guò)去老子左右為難?,F(xiàn)在老子優(yōu)柔寡斷。

        b. 我曾是個(gè)懷疑論者,現(xiàn)在我很懷疑這一點(diǎn)。

        c. 過(guò)去我難以決斷,現(xiàn)在我不大確信是否還是如此。

        88、I don&rsquo;t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn&rsquo;t die.

        老子打死都不信流血5天還不掛的物種。/老子打死都不信娘們兒。

        89、If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you&rsquo;ll have trouble putting on your pants.

        直譯:如果你始終腳踏實(shí)地,那就別想穿褲子了。

        意譯:人太老實(shí)沒(méi)法活。

        90、To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

        別人是指哪兒打哪兒,我是打哪兒指哪兒。

        91、 You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket&hellip; I&rsquo;d miss you heaps and think of you often.

        好吧,既然這艘船要沉了,救生衣又只有一件,我就勉為其難的虛偽一下,你對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)實(shí)在是不能再好的朋友了&hellip;我一定會(huì)經(jīng)常想念你滴~!!!

        92、Going to church doesn&rsquo;t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

        站在車庫(kù)的你并不會(huì)變成一輛車是吧?所以站在教堂的你也不會(huì)變成

      _

        93、Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

        世界總是在變,但我卻怎么也便不出來(lái)。

        意譯:人生何處不杯具,唯有面對(duì)飲水機(jī)。

        94、If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.

        假設(shè)我們會(huì)吃一塹,長(zhǎng)一智,為什么總有人生了一個(gè)還會(huì)生?

        95、A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

        公車總在被追趕的時(shí)候的速度要比你在里面時(shí)的速度快兩倍。

        一旦你在公車后面追,它的速度就會(huì)變得比你在里面所感覺(jué)得快。

        96、Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one.

        發(fā)明“鼠動(dòng)無(wú)聲”這詞兒的哥們一定沒(méi)踩上過(guò)一只。

        97、You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

        過(guò)了河也別拆橋,沒(méi)準(zhǔn)你還要回來(lái)呢。

        98、The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is in the taste.

        口腔體溫計(jì)和菊花體溫計(jì)有啥不同?嘗嘗看就知道了

        99、When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

        以暴治暴,不如以抱治爆。

        100、Remember, if you smoke after sex you&rsquo;re doing it too fast.

        直譯:記著,如果你在嘿咻后冒煙了,證明你整得太快了。

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