幽默英文笑話
幽默英文笑話
幽默與笑話同是社會(huì)交往活動(dòng)中不可缺少的交際手段,探索幽默與笑話的區(qū)別,認(rèn)為有意與無(wú)意、含蓄與直白、復(fù)雜與簡(jiǎn)單、創(chuàng)新與故舊是區(qū)分幽默與笑話的重要標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的雙語(yǔ)英語(yǔ)幽默笑話，歡迎閱讀!
雙語(yǔ)英語(yǔ)幽默笑話篇一
How many vice presidents 副主管多著呢
Tom was so excited about his promotion1 to Vice2 President of the company he worked for and kept bragging3 about it to his wife for weeks on end.
Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing. They even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!"
"Really?" Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decide to call the grocery store.
A clerk answers and Tom says. "Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?"
The clerk replies. "Canned or frozen?"
湯姆被公司提拔為副主管，湯姆太興奮了，幾周以來(lái)一直在妻子面前夸耀著。
最后，妻子實(shí)在忍無(wú)可忍，就跟湯姆說(shuō)：“聽(tīng)著，這沒(méi)什么，雜貨店里賣豌豆的還有副主管呢!”
“真的嗎?”湯姆不確定這是真是假，于是決定打電話給雜貨店。
一個(gè)售貨員接了電話，湯姆問(wèn)：“能讓管豌豆的副主管接電話嗎?”
售貨員回復(fù)：“是要負(fù)責(zé)罐裝的還是負(fù)責(zé)冷凍的副主管呢?”
雙語(yǔ)英語(yǔ)幽默笑話篇二
Giving you a new start 讓你重新獲得新生
One day Mark Twain read an announcement of his death in a newspaper. He hastened to the editor to protect.
"I am very sorry," the editor replied. "It's a terrible mistake, but it's too late to do much about it. The best thing I can do for you is to put you in the Birth Column tomorrow morning and give you a new start."
一天，馬克·吐溫在報(bào)上讀到一則關(guān)于他的死亡訃告。他急忙趕到編輯那兒以示抗議。
“非常抱歉，”編輯說(shuō)，“這是一個(gè)可怕的錯(cuò)誤，但是要彌補(bǔ)已為時(shí)太晚。我唯一能為您做的事情是將您刊登在明天早晨出版的廣告出生欄中，讓您重新獲得新生。”
雙語(yǔ)英語(yǔ)幽默笑話篇三
She Didn't Laugh 她沒(méi)有笑
The boss was telling jokes. Everyone laughed uproariously. But a girl sitting in the corner was not amused.
"What's the matter?" complained the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor1?" The girl said, "Oh, don't have to laugh, as I'm leaving tomorrow."
老板在講笑話，大家都在哈哈大笑，可是坐在角落里的一個(gè)姑娘沒(méi)有被逗樂(lè)。
老板不滿地說(shuō)：“怎么啦?你就沒(méi)有一點(diǎn)幽默感嗎?”姑娘回答說(shuō)：“哦，我不用笑，因?yàn)槲颐魈炀鸵x職了。”
雙語(yǔ)英語(yǔ)幽默笑話篇四
Different idea 想法不同
A young man and his girlfriend were sitting together imagining their happy life in the future.
The young man said, "How free and happy it would be, if we were two little birds, then we could fly out into the great world and build our nest in the top of a tree."
But his girlfriend said, "I think it would be much more enjoyable to be married and to have a flat with two rooms and a toilet, a bath room, a kitchen with a gas stove and warm water."
一個(gè)小伙子和他的女朋友坐在一起，想象他們未來(lái)的幸福生活。
小伙子說(shuō)：“假若我們是兩只小鳥，能飛到廣闊的天地去，把我們的窩建筑在樹頂上，那會(huì)多么自由快樂(lè)呀!”
可是她的女友說(shuō)：“我認(rèn)為結(jié)了婚，有一套兩室一廳的住房，有衛(wèi)生間、洗澡間和帶煤氣灶與熱水的廚房，那會(huì)更加愜意得多。”
雙語(yǔ)英語(yǔ)幽默笑話篇五
The farmer and barber 農(nóng)場(chǎng)主和理發(fā)師
When life was very hard, a farmer said to a barber1: "Now corn's lower2 in price. I think you should shave for half price."
"I can't, sir," said the barber, "I really should charge more because when corn's cheap, farmers are unhappy and worried. All of them make such long faces that I have twice the ground to go over."
生活很艱難的時(shí)候，一個(gè)農(nóng)場(chǎng)主對(duì)理發(fā)師說(shuō)：“現(xiàn)在糧食跌價(jià)了，你給人刮臉也應(yīng)該只收半價(jià)。”
“不行啊，先生。”理發(fā)師說(shuō)，“其實(shí)我應(yīng)該多收一點(diǎn)錢的，因?yàn)榧Z食跌價(jià)了，農(nóng)場(chǎng)主都很不高興了，發(fā)愁了，一個(gè)個(gè)都愁得把臉拉得很長(zhǎng)。我要刮的地方比原來(lái)大了一倍啦。”
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