關(guān)于初中生必讀英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)
民間笑話(huà)故事像神話(huà)小說(shuō)等民間文學(xué)一樣，是廣大勞動(dòng)人民在長(zhǎng)期的生產(chǎn)勞動(dòng)和與自然界作斗爭(zhēng)的過(guò)程中，以口頭形式創(chuàng)作和傳承的文學(xué)體裁。本文是關(guān)于初中生必讀英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
關(guān)于初中生必讀英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：我需要器官移植
The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."
這個(gè)病人顯得很堅(jiān)決。“醫(yī)生，我需要做肝臟移植、腎臟移植、心臟移植、角膜移植、脾臟移植、胰腺移植和。。。” “你為什么認(rèn)為你需要做這么多移植手術(shù)?”病人回答：“哦，是這樣，我的老板說(shuō)如果我這個(gè)人不重新組裝的話(huà)，就別想保住我的工作!”
關(guān)于初中生必讀英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：Chaude and Cold 熱與冷
A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C."
"Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
蒙特利爾咖啡館的一位顧客擰開(kāi)盥洗室的水龍頭，結(jié)果被水燙傷了。“這太可惡了，”他抱怨道，“標(biāo)著C的龍頭流出的是開(kāi)水。”
“可是，先生，C代表Chaude，在法語(yǔ)里代表'熱'。如果您住在蒙特利爾的話(huà)就應(yīng)該知道這一點(diǎn)。”
“等等，”那位顧客咆哮著，“另外一個(gè)龍頭標(biāo)的也是C。”
“那當(dāng)然，”經(jīng)理說(shuō)道：“這個(gè)C代表冷。畢竟，蒙特利爾是個(gè)雙語(yǔ)城市。”
關(guān)于初中生必讀英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：Free advice? 免費(fèi)的建議?
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
醫(yī)生和律師正在一個(gè)宴會(huì)上交談。他們的談話(huà)常被一些人打斷，那些人向醫(yī)生描述自己的病癥，期望獲得免費(fèi)的治療建議。如此這般一個(gè)鐘頭后，醫(yī)生有點(diǎn)惱火，于是他問(wèn)律師：“如果不在辦公時(shí)間，你是怎么阻止人們向你咨詢(xún)法律問(wèn)題的?”
“我會(huì)給他們建議，”律師回答，“然后我會(huì)給他們寄去帳單”。醫(yī)生很震驚，但他還是決定這么試一試。第二天，帶著點(diǎn)犯罪感，他準(zhǔn)備了帳單。當(dāng)他準(zhǔn)備將它們放到郵箱里時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)了一張來(lái)自律師的帳單。
關(guān)于初中生必讀英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：新發(fā)現(xiàn) New Discovery
一個(gè)鄉(xiāng)下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走進(jìn)一座大樓，看見(jiàn)一個(gè)歲數(shù)很大的矮胖女人邁進(jìn)一個(gè)小房間。房間的門(mén)隨后關(guān)上，有幾個(gè)燈在閃亮。一會(huì)兒，門(mén)開(kāi)了，電梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。
鄉(xiāng)下人驚奇地眨著眼睛，慢吞吞地說(shuō)：“我應(yīng)該把我的老婆帶來(lái)!”
New Discovery
A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.
Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"
關(guān)于初中生必讀英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：其余的事由我負(fù)責(zé)
一位車(chē)上的列車(chē)員剛發(fā)出信號(hào)讓火車(chē)啟動(dòng)，這時(shí)他看見(jiàn)一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站臺(tái)上一節(jié)打開(kāi)的車(chē)廂門(mén)旁邊，跟車(chē)廂里另一位漂亮姑娘在說(shuō)話(huà)。
“快點(diǎn)，小姐!”他喊道：“請(qǐng)把門(mén)關(guān)上。”
“噢，我還沒(méi)有和妹妹吻別呢。”她回答道。
“請(qǐng)把門(mén)關(guān)上好了，”列車(chē)員說(shuō)：“其余的事由我負(fù)責(zé)。”
I'll See to the Rest
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
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