英語(yǔ)笑話大全
笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強(qiáng),普遍存在于人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂(lè)作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進(jìn)身體健康。小編精心收集了爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇1
God is Watching
上帝在看著
The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch.
學(xué)生們?cè)谑程门抨?duì)吃午餐。
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
在桌子的一頭有一大堆蘋(píng)果。
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
修女寫(xiě)了一張紙條，貼在蘋(píng)果托盤上:
"Take only one. God is watching."
“只能拿一個(gè)。上帝在看著你。”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolatechip cookies.
順著午餐隊(duì)伍往前走，在桌子的另一端有一大堆巧克力餅干。
A child had written a note,
一個(gè)孩子寫(xiě)了一張紙條，
"Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
“想要多少拿多少，上帝正看著蘋(píng)果呢。”
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇2
May We Have Our Teacher Back?
能讓我們老師回去嗎?
While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board of Education became provoked at thenoise the unruly students were making in the next room.
在訪問(wèn)一聽(tīng)鄉(xiāng)村學(xué)校時(shí)，教育委員會(huì)主席因?yàn)楦舯诜块g里不守規(guī)矩的學(xué)生們發(fā)出的噪音而憤怒不已。
Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing mostof the talking.
他氣憤地推開(kāi)門，一把抓住一個(gè)身材較高的男生，他似乎說(shuō)話最多。
He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner.
他拖著男生到另一個(gè)房間，并讓他站在墻角。
A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded,
幾分鐘后，一個(gè)小男孩探進(jìn)頭來(lái)，懇求道:
"Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?"
“求求您，先生，能讓我們的老師回去嗎?”
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇3
Do You Know Who I Am?
你知道我是誰(shuí)嗎?
It was the final examination for a Biology course at a university.
這是一所大學(xué)的生物課期末考試。
It was designed to weed out some students.
考試旨在淘汰部分學(xué)生。
The examination was two hours long.
考試時(shí)間為兩小時(shí)。
After the exam booklets were provided, the professor told the class，
分發(fā)試題冊(cè)后，教授對(duì)學(xué)生們說(shuō)，
that any exam booklet that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be acceptedand the student would fail.
兩小時(shí)結(jié)束后任何沒(méi)交的試題冊(cè)他都不再接收，沒(méi)交的學(xué)生一律不及格。
Half of an hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exambooklet.
考試開(kāi)始后半小時(shí)，個(gè)學(xué)生匆匆跑了進(jìn)來(lái)，向教授要試題冊(cè)。
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handedthe student a booklet.
“你沒(méi)有時(shí)間答完試題的，”教授一邊把試題冊(cè)遞給學(xué)生，一邊諷刺地說(shuō)。
"Yes, I will," replied the student.
“不，我有，”學(xué)生回答。
He then took a seat and began writing.
然后他坐下來(lái)開(kāi)始答題。
After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handedthem in.
兩小時(shí)后，教授要求交卷，學(xué)生們把試卷整理好，交了卷。
All except the late student, who continued writing.
只有那名遲到的學(xué)生還繼續(xù)寫(xiě)著。
An hour later, the student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing forhis next class.
一小時(shí)后，學(xué)生走到教授跟前，教授正坐在桌旁準(zhǔn)備下一節(jié)課。
He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
學(xué)生試圖把試卷放在桌上的一堆試題冊(cè)上。
"I'm not going to accept that. It's late."
“我不會(huì)接收的。太晚了。”
The student looked incredulous and angry.
學(xué)生看上去將信將疑，有些生氣。
"Do you know who I am?"
“你知道我是誰(shuí)嗎?”
"No, as a matter of fact, I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
“不，說(shuō)實(shí)話，我不知道，”教授回答說(shuō)，言語(yǔ)中帶著嘲諷的語(yǔ)氣。
"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again in a louder voice.
“你知道我是誰(shuí)嗎?”學(xué)生又問(wèn)，聲音更響亮了。
"No." replied the professor with an air of superiority.
“不知道，我也不在乎”教授回答，面露優(yōu)越的神色。“那就好，”學(xué)生說(shuō)著快速地拿起一疊試卷，把他的塞到中間，然后走出了教室。
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in themiddle, and walked out of the room.
“那就好，”學(xué)生說(shuō)著快速地拿起一疊試卷，把他的塞到中間，然后走出了教室。
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