趣味英語冷笑話

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的一些趣味英語冷笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　趣味英語冷笑話：玫瑰

　　On the way home one night, I spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist's shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman.

　　Are these for your wife, sir? she asked.

　　Yes, I said.

　　For her birthday? she asked.

　　No, I replied.

　　For your anniversary?

　　No, I said again.

　　As I pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, I hope she forgives you.

　　一天晚上回家的路上，我看到一家花店外面有一些剛剪下來的玫瑰。我挑了一打，走進(jìn)店里，一個(gè)年輕的女售貨員跟我打了個(gè)招呼。

　　先生，這些是送給你妻子的嗎?她問道。

　　是的，我說。

　　她的生日?她問。

　　不是，我回答。

　　你們的結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日?

　　不是，我又答道。

　　當(dāng)我將找回的錢裝進(jìn)口袋，朝門口走去時(shí)，那年輕的女人沖我喊道：希望她能原諒你。

　　趣味英語冷笑話：Part-time Job業(yè)余工作

　　When my son was a hign-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles.

　　"How was your first day?" I asked.

　　"It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to some good-looking girls."

　　Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"

　　"Do you prefer paper or plastic?"

　　我兒子在一所中學(xué)讀二年級(jí)時(shí)，在一家超級(jí)市場(chǎng)找到了一份包裝商品的業(yè)余工作。他滿面笑容地回到了家。

　　“第一天感覺如何?”我問。

　　“好極了，爸爸。”他答道，“我跟許多漂亮的女孩子講了話。”

　　由于斯蒂芬不善言談，我問道：“你跟他們說了些什么?”

　　“你是喜歡紙包裝還是塑料包裝?”

　　趣味英語冷笑話：Who Discovered Australia?誰發(fā)現(xiàn)了澳大利亞?

　　Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.

　　Johnny: It's there, sir.

　　Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?

　　Sammy: Johnny, sir.

　　老師：約翰尼，在地圖上給我找出澳大利亞在什么地方。

　　約翰尼：先生，在這兒。

　　老師：對(duì)了。薩默，你來回答我是誰發(fā)現(xiàn)了澳大利亞?

　　薩默：先生，是約翰尼。

　　趣味英語冷笑話：Lucky Mother 幸運(yùn)的母親

　　A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?

　　一位年輕的母親認(rèn)為，世界上還有許多受饑餓的人，浪費(fèi)食物真不應(yīng)該。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑面包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬涂在面包上。母親看了女兒幾秒鐘，隨即說道，露茜，當(dāng)我象你一樣小的時(shí)候，總是吃面包加黃油，或者面包加果醬，從來沒有面包既加黃油又加果醬。露茜看了母親一會(huì)兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然后她柔聲說：您現(xiàn)在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎?

　　趣味英語冷笑話：Pirate's Treasure 海盜的財(cái)富

　　"Ten steps from the porch(門廊) and twenty steps from the rose bushes," growled Bluebeard in Jimmy's dream one night. "There be treasure there! Aawrgh."

　　So the next day Jimmy began to dig. He dug until the hole was deep and the dirt pile was high.

　　He kept digging. The hole got deeper and the dirt pile got higher.

　　He dug until the hole was deepest and the dirt pile was at its highest. He sighed. "I'm too tired. I can't dig anymore." Then he spied something... but it was only one of Woofy's bones. Instead of treasure, all Jimmy had was a dog bone, a hole, and a big pile of dirt to fill it in with. He thought "That pirate lied to me!"

　　But when Jimmy's mother saw what he had done, she clasped(緊抱，扣緊) her hands and smiled a smile from here to Sunday. "Oh, thank you, Jimmy. I always wanted a rhododendron(杜鵑) bush planted just there. Here's .00 for digging that hole."

　　趣味英語冷笑話：A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒

　　Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"

　　Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"

　　婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一個(gè)特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我們結(jié)婚35周年紀(jì)念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：“親愛的，你意識(shí)到我們?cè)谶@兩個(gè)相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎?”

　　他放下報(bào)紙，眼睛直直地望著我：“因此，你想交換座位嗎?