摘要：為了忠實(shí)于自己，我們必須致力于那個僅有的自己，以免圍繞不同的身份而喬裝改扮。如果，我們是誰?以及我們的行為取決于別人眼中的我，或我們所處的環(huán)境中的我，那么就不可能了解(真正的)自身和率真的我們。

　　In order to be true to self, we need to work toward there only being “one” version of ourselves and avoiding the tendency to masquerade around in different identities. If who we are and how we behave depends on the people or environment we find ourselves in, it may become impossible to know and speak the truth about ourselves.

　　There are many faces we can wear. They are all meant to keep ourselves hidden from detection and harm. These faces have developed in us over time and are intricately woven into the fabric of our personalities. Here are three of the common faces we might recognize in ourselves if we were to look honesty into our mirror of introspection:

　　為了忠實(shí)于自己，我們必須致力于那個僅有的自己，以免圍繞不同的身份而喬裝改扮。如果，我們是誰?以及我們的行為取決于別人眼中的我，或我們所處的環(huán)境中的我，那么就不可能了解(真正的)自身和率真的我們。

　　我們可以扮演很多張面孔，以便隱藏自己免于被發(fā)現(xiàn)或免于傷害。這張臉隨著時(shí)間而發(fā)展，雜亂地編織在我們的人性里。如果我們站在鏡子前真誠的反省，我們可能會認(rèn)出三張雷同的臉。

　　The Joker: The role of the “joker” should not be confused with the display of humor during a fun loving moment. The “joker” front is present when you make jokes in situations in which you are uncomfortable or are fraught with pain and sorrow. This is simply a way of coping with emotional discomfort.

去發(fā)現(xiàn)真實(shí)的你

　　1.逗樂者：逗樂者的角色不應(yīng)該混同于在親密時(shí)刻搞幽默的玩笑者。逗樂者面對的是，當(dāng)你感到不舒服，或充滿痛苦和悲傷時(shí)，有意制造的玩笑。這是一個應(yīng)對不安的簡單方式。

　　The Procrastinator: If you are the “procrastinator” then you put off whatever you find too uncomfortable or scary to face today. Unfortunately, delaying the work of the moment to alleviate your fear of failure or to avoid discomfort will almost always set the stage for more disappointment and shame.

　　2.拖宕者：如果你是一個拖宕者，那么不管你當(dāng)前面對的是不安還是恐懼，你就會表現(xiàn)出拖沓。很不幸，工作時(shí)刻拖宕是為了減輕你的失敗恐懼感和避免因沮喪和羞恥而引起的不安。

　　The Flirt: People will learn to hide behind being a “flirt” because it feels like a much easier way to feel secure than connecting emotionally and investing in vulnerable relationships. While you may have “bagged” your trophy with the intentions of feeling more secure about yourself, you are likely to be left feeling less-than and even worse about yourself afterwards. This is because you have invested much in your physical self and neglected to be true to your emotional and spiritual self.

　　3.賣弄者：賣弄的背后是隱藏，因?yàn)楸绕鹎楦新?lián)系和投資易受傷害的人事關(guān)系來說，你覺得這是一種更簡易的方式。在你可能收獲你以為比較安全的情感時(shí)，你很可能或多或少的被感情拋棄，甚至失去今后的自我。這是因?yàn)槟銓ξ锢淼淖晕彝度胩啵鲆暳苏嫖业那楦泻驼鎸?shí)的心靈。

　　These faces are but three examples of many. The faces that we wear were originally intended to keep us safe from harm. In the beginning they did just that. Now we find that the strategies we use to employ as a sort of survival tactic are no longer safe – they are dangerous. The masks we wear are not going to be removed by some external force. Fortunately or unfortunately we were born with free will and the job of removing our masks is ours and ours alone. The risks involved may seem like we are being asked to appear in public in a Saran Wrap outfit but it is really not that bad once we get started.

　　這些面孔是很多例子中的三個。我們最初的偽裝是為了避免傷害。在一開始他們這樣做僅僅是為此?，F(xiàn)在我們發(fā)現(xiàn)，過去常常使用的策略和僥幸一樣不保險(xiǎn)，它們是危險(xiǎn)的。我們所帶的面具不會被外力移走。幸運(yùn)和不幸相生相伴，我們天生是自由的，摘掉面具的職業(yè)是自己的，并且是我們獨(dú)有的。危險(xiǎn)纏繞其中，看起來好像我們是裹著保鮮膜出現(xiàn)在大眾面前，一旦揭開面具真的不是一件壞事。

　　Understand, for example, that forced laughter is an illegitimate form of crying. The risk here is to let others understand that you are frightened of coping with the situation. The authentic you will learn how to laugh when something is funny and you will learn to cry when you are sad.

　　理解，例如，逼迫正哭的自己笑是不合情理的。這里的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)是讓別人知道你對要應(yīng)對的現(xiàn)實(shí)感到恐懼。真實(shí)的你是學(xué)會有高興的事時(shí)笑，有悲傷的事時(shí)哭。

　　Procrastination is fear – in five syllables. When we procrastinate we run the risk of further burdening ourselves with shame that can develop when we avoid fearful situations or people. Generally the unintended result is a greater sense of incompetency than we started out with. You alone have the power to show yourself and those around you that you can be counted on.

　　拖延是恐懼有五個音節(jié)。當(dāng)我們拖沓的時(shí)候，就是給自己的未來添加可恥的負(fù)擔(dān)，這種負(fù)擔(dān)會在我們想要避免的困境和人那里繼續(xù)發(fā)展。一般情況下，比起著手做事(的人來說，)無意識中會讓人產(chǎn)生無法勝任的感覺。你有權(quán)顯示個人的能量也可以憑借周圍的力量。

　　Flirtation, of course, can be seen as a way of attracting people with little depth who are likely to run away from any true relationship. To remove this mask is to become ready to risk experiencing the depth of varying emotions like sadness, possible disappointment, and vulnerability. A decision to be more real will reward you with increased self-awareness, emotional balance and a great reduction in emotional insecurity.

　　調(diào)情，看起來是一種膚淺的吸引人的方式，有可能使你脫離真實(shí)的關(guān)系。摘除面具準(zhǔn)備經(jīng)受各種深層的情感，象悲哀、沮喪、脆弱。自我意識會更強(qiáng)，情緒會趨于平衡，不安全感也會大大減少。