爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事精選
英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領(lǐng)域,其中包括政治笑話(huà)、經(jīng)濟(jì)笑話(huà)、家庭生活笑話(huà)、關(guān)于民族性格的笑話(huà)等。本文是爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事：我想不到已經(jīng)往回跑了這么遠(yuǎn)!
A big battle was going on during the First World War.Guns were firing， and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere.After an hour of this， one of the soldiers decidedthat the fighting was getting too dangerous for him， so he leftthe front line and began to go away from the battle. After hehad walked for an hour，he saw an officer coming towardshim. The officer stopped him and said，“ where are you going?”
“I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battlethat's going on behind us， sir，” the soldier answered.
“Do you know who I am?” the officer said to him angrily.“I'm your commanding officer.”
The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said，“My God，I didn't know that I was so far back already!”
第一次世界大戰(zhàn)期間，一場(chǎng)大戰(zhàn)役正在進(jìn)行。槍炮轟鳴，炮彈和子彈到處亂飛。這樣過(guò)了一個(gè)小時(shí)后，一個(gè)士兵認(rèn)定戰(zhàn)斗對(duì)他來(lái)說(shuō)變得太危險(xiǎn)了，所以他離開(kāi)前線開(kāi)始逃離戰(zhàn)場(chǎng)。步行了一個(gè)小時(shí)之后，他看見(jiàn)一個(gè)軍官向他走過(guò)來(lái)。那軍官叫住他說(shuō)：“你要到哪兒去?”
“長(zhǎng)官，我正盡可能遠(yuǎn)地躲開(kāi)我們身后正在進(jìn)行的戰(zhàn)役，”士兵回答說(shuō)。
“你知道我是誰(shuí)嗎?”軍官生氣地對(duì)他說(shuō)：“我是你的指揮官。”
那士兵聽(tīng)到此話(huà)感到非常驚訝，說(shuō)：“天哪，我想不到我已經(jīng)往回跑了這么遠(yuǎn)了!”
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事：An Urgent Standby Passenger
While in Korea, Gov. Mike Smith of Utah was relaxing in the VIP lounge the Seoul airport, awaiting his flight to Japan. At the same moment , his press secretary, Jenny Varela, was being told at the ticket counter that she had no ticket.
After insisting she had to make the flight because she was with a U. S. governor, an American embassy aide intervened. Varela got a standby ticket and boarded just before take-off.
Regaining her composure, Varela went to the front of the plane to tell Smith of her adventure. He was not there. She later found out that the governor was told that he had been bumped by an urgent standby passenger.It was Varela.
緊急待機(jī)乘客
在韓國(guó)時(shí)，猶他州的州長(zhǎng)麥克·史密斯正在漢城機(jī)場(chǎng)的要人休息室里休息。他在等著飛往日本的航班。與此同時(shí)，他的新聞秘書(shū)、詹妮·維蕾拉，在售票房被告知沒(méi)票了。
她堅(jiān)持說(shuō)要乘此航班，因?yàn)樗且晃幻绹?guó)的州長(zhǎng)的隨員，這樣美國(guó)大使館的一位副官介入了。維蕾拉拿到一張待機(jī)票并趕在飛機(jī)起飛前登了機(jī)。
略略鎮(zhèn)定后，維蕾拉到機(jī)艙前部去告訴史密斯她的經(jīng)歷。他不在那兒。她后來(lái)得知，有人告知州長(zhǎng)，他的飛行被一位緊急待機(jī)乘客沖撞掉了。這個(gè)人就是維蕾拉。
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事：What Was It She Wanted?
A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer.“No，ma’am， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon.” Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，“Of course， we'll have somesoon， We placed an order last week.” Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：“Never， never， never say we are out of anything—say we've got it on order and it's coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?”
“Rain.” said the clerk.
她要買(mǎi)什么?
一個(gè)商店經(jīng)理聽(tīng)見(jiàn)一個(gè)店員對(duì)顧客說(shuō)：“不，夫人，這會(huì)兒沒(méi)有，一時(shí)半會(huì)兒看來(lái)也不會(huì)有。”經(jīng)理驚恐萬(wàn)分地跑到顧客跟前說(shuō)：“當(dāng)然，馬上就會(huì)有的。我們上周訂了貨。”然后經(jīng)理把店員拉到一邊：“千萬(wàn)，千萬(wàn)，千萬(wàn)不要說(shuō)我們沒(méi)有什么——說(shuō)我們已經(jīng)訂了貨，貨馬上就到?，F(xiàn)在你說(shuō)她要買(mǎi)什么?”
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事：In the air
Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town.
"Let's go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven't been anywhere for a long time."
Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, "All right, but I'm not going to spend much money. We'll look at things, but we won't buy anything. "
They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt's wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.
Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.
"Fun flights!" the notice said, " $ 10 for 10 minutes.
Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn't want to have to pay for his wife, as well.
"I've only got $ 10, " he told the pilot. "Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilot wasn't selling many tickets, so he said, "I'll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn't scream or shout, she can have a free flight."
Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.
The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.
When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0. K. your wife didn't make a sound. She can have her ride free."
"Thank you," Matt said. "It wasn't easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."
在空中
麥特和妻子住在鄉(xiāng)下。麥特很吝嗇，討厭花錢(qián)。一天附近的鎮(zhèn)子逢集。
“我們?nèi)ペs集，麥特，”妻子說(shuō)。“我們很久沒(méi)出去了。”
麥特想了一會(huì)兒。他知道在集市上一定得花錢(qián)。最后他說(shuō)：“好吧，但我不打算花太多錢(qián)。我們只看不買(mǎi)。”
他們?nèi)ゼ?，看看所有可買(mǎi)的東西。有很多東西麥特的妻子想買(mǎi)，但麥特不讓她買(mǎi)。
然后在附近的露天場(chǎng)地，他們看到一架小飛機(jī)。
“有趣的飛行。”海報(bào)上寫(xiě)著，“10分鐘10美元。”
麥特從來(lái)沒(méi)有乘過(guò)飛機(jī)，所以他想乘一次小飛機(jī)。然而他不想付他妻子的票錢(qián)。
“我只帶了10美元，”他對(duì)飛機(jī)駕駛員說(shuō)，“我妻子能免費(fèi)和我一起乘飛機(jī)嗎?”駕駛員沒(méi)賣(mài)出多少票，所以他說(shuō)：“我和你做個(gè)交易。如果你妻子不尖叫，也不叫出聲來(lái)，她就能免費(fèi)飛行。”
麥特同意了，他和妻子一起登上了飛機(jī)。
飛機(jī)起飛了，駕駛員讓飛機(jī)做出各種各樣的動(dòng)作。有一會(huì)兒飛機(jī)倒著飛行。
飛機(jī)著陸時(shí)，駕駛員說(shuō)，“好吧，你妻子沒(méi)發(fā)出任何聲響。她就不用買(mǎi)飛機(jī)票了。”
“謝謝，”麥特說(shuō)，“你知道，這對(duì)她不容易，特別當(dāng)她剛才掉下去的時(shí)候。”
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