TED英語(yǔ)演講：愛(ài)情的三大秘訣
TED是Technology, Entertainment, Design(科技、娛樂(lè)、設(shè)計(jì))的縮寫(xiě)，這個(gè)會(huì)議的宗旨是"用思想的力量來(lái)改變世界"。TED演講的特點(diǎn)是毫無(wú)繁雜冗長(zhǎng)的專(zhuān)業(yè)講座，觀(guān)點(diǎn)響亮，開(kāi)門(mén)見(jiàn)山，種類(lèi)繁多，看法新穎。而且還是非常好的英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)聽(tīng)力練習(xí)材料，建議堅(jiān)持學(xué)習(xí)。下面是小編為大家收集關(guān)于TED英語(yǔ)演講：愛(ài)情的三大秘訣，歡迎借鑒參考。
演講者：Hannah Fry
演講稿
Today I want to talk to you about the mathematics of love. Now, I think that we can all agree that mathematicians are famously excellent at finding love.But it's not just because of our dashing personalities, superior conversational skills and excellent pencil cases. It's also because we've actually done an awful lot of work into the maths of how to find the perfect partner.
今天我想要和大家談?wù)勱P(guān)于愛(ài)情的數(shù)學(xué)。 我想大家都 同意數(shù)學(xué)家在尋找真愛(ài)上特別在行。 但那并不是是因?yàn)槲覀兙Τ渑娴男愿瘢?超凡的對(duì)話(huà)技巧，和極好的筆盒。也是 因?yàn)槲覀冋娴幕嗽S多時(shí)間精力在數(shù)學(xué)上， 計(jì)算如何找到完美的伴侶。
Now, in my favorite paper on the subject, which is entitled, "Why I Don't Have a Girlfriend" --Peter Backus tries to rate his chances of finding love. Now, Peter's not a very greedy man. Of all of the available women in the UK, all Peter's looking for is somebody who lives near him, somebody in the right age range, somebody with a university degree, somebody he's likely to get on well with, somebody who's likely to be attractive, somebody who's likely to find him attractive.And comes up with an estimate of 26 women in the whole of the UK.It's not looking very good, is it Peter? Now, just to put that into perspective, that's about 400 times fewer than the best estimates of how many intelligent extraterrestrial life forms there are. And it also gives Peter a 1 in 285,000 chance of bumping into any one of these special ladies on a given night out. I'd like to think that's why mathematicians don't really bother going on nights out anymore.
現(xiàn)在，在此學(xué)科中我最?lèi)?ài)的論文，名為 “為什么我沒(méi)有女友”(笑聲) Peter Backus試著計(jì)算他尋得真愛(ài)的機(jī)會(huì)。 現(xiàn)在，Peter不是一個(gè)非常貪心的人。 在英國(guó)所有適宜的女性對(duì)象中， 彼得所看的，就只是那個(gè)住在他附近的對(duì)象， 某個(gè)處于適宜的年齡階段， 某個(gè)擁有大學(xué)文憑， 某個(gè)他很有可能相處地不錯(cuò)的對(duì)象， 某個(gè)有魅力的女子， 以及某個(gè)認(rèn)為他也富有魅力的對(duì)象。 (笑聲) 結(jié)果他估計(jì)在全英國(guó)大概有26位此類(lèi)女性。 這看來(lái)很不妙，不是嗎，彼得? 我們好好思考一下這件事， 在無(wú)數(shù)聰明外星生命形式存在的情況下， 那是少于400倍數(shù)的估計(jì)呀。 那也給了彼得一個(gè) 在某晚遇見(jiàn)一個(gè)特別的女子 28萬(wàn)5千之1的機(jī)會(huì)。 我寧愿想就是著那為什么數(shù)學(xué)家 不再怎么想晚上出去約會(huì)了。
The thing is that I personally don't subscribe to such a pessimistic view. Because I know, just as well as all of you do, that love doesn't really work like that. Human emotion isn't neatly ordered and rational and easily predictable. But I also know that that doesn't mean that mathematics hasn't got something that it can offer us, because, love, as with most of life, is full of patterns and mathematics is, ultimately, all about the study of patterns. Patterns from predicting the weather to the fluctuations in the stock market, to the movement of the planets or the growth of cities. And if we're being honest, none of those things are exactly neatly ordered and easily predictable, either. Because I believe that mathematics is so powerful that it has the potential to offer us a new way of looking at almost anything. Even something as mysterious as love. And so, to try to persuade you of how totally amazing, excellent and relevant mathematics is, I want to give you my top three mathematically verifiable tips for love.
重點(diǎn)是，我個(gè)人其實(shí)并不 同意這種悲觀(guān)的看法。 因?yàn)槲抑?，如同你們所有所知道的?愛(ài)情并不是這樣發(fā)生的。 人類(lèi)的情感不是那樣地秩序井然，干凈利落，邏輯清晰，以及容易預(yù)測(cè)。 但我也知道那并不意謂著 數(shù)學(xué)無(wú)法提供幫助， 因?yàn)閻?ài)情，如同生命中多數(shù)的事物一般，充斥著許多規(guī)律， 而數(shù)學(xué)，最終，就是那講求規(guī)律的學(xué)說(shuō)。 從預(yù)測(cè)天候，到預(yù)測(cè)股票市場(chǎng)的開(kāi)高走低， 到星球的運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn)，或都市的發(fā)展。 如果我們對(duì)自己誠(chéng)實(shí)的話(huà)，上述那些東西，沒(méi)有一個(gè)是 井然有序以及容易預(yù)測(cè)的。 因?yàn)槲蚁嘈牛瑪?shù)學(xué)的力量非常強(qiáng)大，以至于它讓我們得以以新方法 重新 看待 任何事物。就算是和愛(ài)情一般神秘的東西也是。為了試著說(shuō)服你們 數(shù)學(xué)的神妙用處， 我想要給大家三個(gè)最重要的在數(shù)學(xué)上可以驗(yàn)證的愛(ài)情秘訣。
OK, so Top Tip #1: How to win at online dating. So my favorite online dating website is OkCupid, not least because it was started by a group of mathematicians. Now, because they're mathematicians, they have been collecting data on everybody who uses their site for almost a decade. And they've been trying to search for patterns in the way that we talk about ourselves and the way that we interact with each other on an online dating website. And they've come up with some seriously interesting findings. But my particular favorite is that it turns out that on an online dating website, how attractive you are does not dictate how popular you are, and actually, having people think that you're ugly can work to your advantage.Let me show you how this works. In a thankfully voluntary section of OkCupid, you are allowed to rate how attractive you think people are on a scale between one and five. Now, if we compare this score, the average score, to how many messages a selection of people receive, you can begin to get a sense of how attractiveness links to popularity on an online dating website.
好，首先最重要的秘技一： 如何 贏得線(xiàn)上交友的機(jī)會(huì)。我最?lèi)?ài)的線(xiàn)上交友網(wǎng)站是OkCupid(網(wǎng)站名：好吧，丘比特)， 這并不 僅僅因?yàn)檫@網(wǎng)站是由一群數(shù)學(xué)家所架設(shè)的。因?yàn)樗麄兪菙?shù)學(xué)家， 他們已經(jīng)搜集了 近乎這十年來(lái)所有他們網(wǎng)站使用者的資料。 他們?cè)囍娮余]件尋找 我們用英語(yǔ)上 談?wù)摃r(shí)間和自己的方式的模式， 以及我們和他人互動(dòng)的模式。 他們發(fā)現(xiàn)了一些重要的有趣結(jié)果。 但我特別喜歡的結(jié)果之一是 在線(xiàn)上交友網(wǎng)站上 你的魅力程度并無(wú)法預(yù)測(cè)你的受歡迎程度， 事實(shí)上，讓人們覺(jué)得你很丑 可以讓你擁有優(yōu)勢(shì)。 讓我向各位展示這是怎么一回事。 在OkCupid的一個(gè)愿愿欄目中， 你可以評(píng)價(jià)人們的魅力值， 從1到5。 現(xiàn)在，如果我們比較這個(gè)分?jǐn)?shù)，平均分?jǐn)?shù)， 有多少人收到信息， 你就可以開(kāi)始理解 在一個(gè)線(xiàn)上約會(huì)網(wǎng)站上魅力指數(shù)與受歡迎程度有關(guān)。
This is the graph the OkCupid guys have come up with. And the important thing to notice is that it's not totally true that the more attractive you are, the more messages you get. But the question arises then of what is it about people up here who are so much more popular than people down here, even though they have the same score of attractiveness? And the reason why is that it's not just straightforward looks that are important. So let me try to illustrate their findings with an example. So if you take someone like Portia de Rossi, for example, everybody agrees that Portia de Rossi is a very beautiful woman. Nobody thinks that she's ugly, but she's not a supermodel, either. If you compare Portia de Rossi to someone like Sarah Jessica Parker, now, a lot of people, myself included, I should say, think that Sarah Jessica Parker is seriously fabulous and possibly one of the most beautiful creatures to have ever have walked on the face of the Earth. But some other people, i.e., most of the Internet ...seem to think that she looks a bit like a horse.Now, I think that if you ask people how attractive they thought Jessica Parker or Portia de Rossi were, and you ask them to give them a score between one and five I reckon that they'd average out to have roughly the same score. But the way that people would vote would be very different. So Portia's scores would all be clustered around the four because everybody agrees that she's very beautiful, whereas Sarah Jessica Parker completely divides opinion. There'd be a huge spread in her scores. And actually it's this spread that counts. It's this spread that makes you more popular on an online Internet dating website. So what that means then is that if some people think that you're attractive, you're actually better off having some other people think that you're a massive minger. That's much better than everybody just thinking that you're the cute girl next door.
這是OkCupid得到的 圖表 。一件重要的值得注意的事是并不是越有魅力的人，收到的信息越多。 問(wèn)題是，為什么上面的這些人 比下面這些人要受歡迎得多， 即便他們都有相同的魅力值? 原因是，并不是直觀(guān)的外貌是重要的。 讓我來(lái)談?wù)勊麄兊陌l(fā)現(xiàn)，以一個(gè)案例說(shuō)明。 如果你拿Portia de Rossi為例， 每個(gè)人都同意Portia de Rossi是個(gè)非常美麗的女人， 沒(méi)有人覺(jué)得她丑，但她也不是超模。 如果你拿某個(gè)人，比如莎拉杰西卡帕克(譯者注：欲望都市女主角)狀語(yǔ)從句：來(lái)她比較 許多人，包括我自己，我應(yīng)該會(huì)說(shuō)， Sarah Jessica Parker魅力極為出眾， 有可能是地表上 最美麗的物種之一。 但許多其他人，比如，大多數(shù)的網(wǎng)友似乎 都認(rèn)為她看起來(lái)像馬。(笑聲) 如果你問(wèn)人們他們覺(jué)得自己有多美， 莎拉杰西卡帕克或波蒂亞德羅西 你要他們給自己打分，從1到5， 我猜他們也會(huì)大約 。一個(gè)和大家都差不多的數(shù)字 但是人們投票的方式各自不同。 因此鮑西婭的分?jǐn)?shù)會(huì)聚集在4分左右， 因?yàn)樗腥硕纪?，她非常美麗?然而人們對(duì)莎拉·杰西卡·帕克卻有截然不同的意見(jiàn)。 她的分差懸殊很大。 然而，事實(shí)上，就是那分差別具意義， 那差異讓你 在交友網(wǎng)站上受歡迎。 所以那意味著 如果有些人認(rèn)為你別具魅力， 你最好有其他人認(rèn)為 你很丑。 那遠(yuǎn)優(yōu)于所有人認(rèn)為 你的英文鄰家的女孩可愛(ài)。
Now, I think this begins to make a bit more sense when you think in terms of the people who are sending these messages. So let's say that you think somebody's attractive, but you suspect that other people won't necessarily be that interested. That means there's less competition for you and it's an extra incentive for you to get in touch. Whereas compare that to if you think somebody is attractive but you suspect that everybody is going to think they're attractive. Well, why would you bother humiliating yourself, let's be honest? But here's where the really interesting part comes. Because when people choose the pictures that they use on an online dating website, they often try to minimize the things that they think some people will find unattractive. The classic example is people who are, perhaps, a little bit overweight deliberately choosing a very cropped photo,or bald men, for example, deliberately choosing pictures where they're wearing hats. But actually this is the opposite of what you should do if you want to be successful. You should really, instead, play up to whatever it is that makes you different, even if you think that some people will find it unattractive. Because the people who fancy you are just going to fancy you anyway, and the unimportant losers who don't, well, they only play up to your advantage.
當(dāng)你們開(kāi)始思考一下這些寄送信息的人的話(huà)， 這開(kāi)始變得合理些了。 這么說(shuō)吧，假設(shè)你認(rèn)為那個(gè)人很美， 但你同時(shí)猜想其他人并不會(huì)和你有同樣的審美觀(guān)。 那就意味著，你的競(jìng)爭(zhēng)對(duì)手略少， 這就給你增加了額外的動(dòng)機(jī)去與他/她認(rèn)識(shí)。 與之相對(duì)的情況是你認(rèn)為某人很有吸引力， 但你猜想所有其他的人都認(rèn)為那人很有吸引力， 嗯，讓我們面對(duì)事實(shí)為什么要自取其辱呢呢? 這就是最 有趣 的部分。因?yàn)楫?dāng)人們?nèi)ミx擇他們?cè)诮挥丫W(wǎng)站上使用的照片時(shí)，他們總是試圖最小化 其他人認(rèn)為不吸引人之處的可能性。 最經(jīng)典的例子是，那些體重略重的人 故意選擇一個(gè)剪裁非常不正的照片， 例如那些禿頂?shù)哪惺浚?故意去選擇他們帶著帽子的照片。 但你的行為是與你的目標(biāo)相悖的， 如果你想要在網(wǎng)上交友成功。 你真的應(yīng)該，去選擇讓你看起來(lái)與眾不同的照片， 即便你 為某些人會(huì)對(duì)此失去興趣。 因?yàn)槟切┫矚g你的人無(wú)論如何都會(huì)去喜歡你， 而那些不重要的路人只是渲染你的優(yōu)勢(shì)。
OK, Top Tip #2: How to pick the perfect partner. So let's imagine then that you're a roaring success on the dating scene. But the question arises of how do you then convert that success into longer-term happiness, and in particular, how do you decide when is the right time to settle down? Now generally, it's not advisable to just cash in and marry the first person who comes along and shows you any interest at all. But, equally, you don't really want to leave it too long if you want to maximize your chance of long-term happiness. As my favorite author, Jane Austen, puts it, "An unmarried woman of seven and twenty can never hope to feel or inspire affection again."(Laughter)Thanks a lot, Jane. What do you know about love?
好了，最高秘訣2號(hào)：如何選擇完美的伴侶。 讓我們想象你的約會(huì) 精彩成功。 但問(wèn)題來(lái)了你如何將那成功的約會(huì) 轉(zhuǎn)變成長(zhǎng)期的快樂(lè)，尤其是， 你要如何選擇在哪個(gè)時(shí)刻安定下來(lái)? 一般來(lái)說(shuō)，并建議人們立刻 與第一個(gè)出現(xiàn) 對(duì)你表達(dá)好感的人結(jié)婚。 但是，一般來(lái)說(shuō)，如果你想要最大化你未來(lái)數(shù)十年幸?；橐龅臋C(jī)會(huì)， 你也不愿等待太久。 我最喜歡的作家簡(jiǎn)·奧斯汀這樣說(shuō)， “一個(gè)未婚的27歲女子 就別指望再能感受或激發(fā)愛(ài)情了。” (笑聲) 這太嚴(yán)重了，簡(jiǎn)。你對(duì)愛(ài)了解多少呢?
So the question is then, how do you know when is the right time to settle down, given all the people that you can date in your lifetime? Thankfully, there's a rather delicious bit of mathematics that we can use to help us out here, called optimal stopping theory. So let's imagine, then, that you start dating when you're 15 and ideally, you'd like to be married by the time that you're 35. And there's a number of people that you could potentially date across your lifetime, and they'll be at varying levels of goodness. Now the rules are that once you cash in and get married, you can't look ahead to see what you could have had, and equally, you can't go back and change your mind. In my experience at least, I find that typically people don't much like being recalled years after being passed up for somebody else, or that's just me.
那么問(wèn)題來(lái)了， 你怎么知道哪個(gè)時(shí)刻是該安定下來(lái)的時(shí)刻， 畢竟生命中你有很多可能的對(duì)象? 幸好，我們可以運(yùn)用一點(diǎn)兒數(shù)學(xué) 來(lái)幫助我們計(jì)算解決這個(gè)問(wèn)題，名叫“最優(yōu)停止理論“。 那么讓我們來(lái)想象一下， 你在15歲的時(shí)候開(kāi)始交往， 理想狀態(tài)下，你在35歲的時(shí)候會(huì)結(jié)婚。 你的人生中 有很多 潛在 的約會(huì)對(duì)象，他們都有各自的優(yōu)點(diǎn)。規(guī)則是，你一旦跳進(jìn)婚姻， 你就不能繼續(xù)前進(jìn)尋找你可能可以有的對(duì)象， 你也不能回頭來(lái)改變你的主意。 我個(gè)人的經(jīng)驗(yàn)看來(lái)， 一般人們不希望 在被拒絕又過(guò)了多年后被找回來(lái)，也許只有我這樣想。
So the math says then that what you should do in the first 37 percent of your dating window, you should just reject everybody as serious marriage potential.And then, you should pick the next person that comes along that is better than everybody that you've seen before. So here's the example. Now if you do this, it can be mathematically proven, in fact, that this is the best possible way of maximizing your chances of finding the perfect partner. Now unfortunately, I have to tell you that this method does come with some risks. For instance, imagine if your perfect partner appeared during your first 37 percent. Now, unfortunately, you'd have to reject them.Now, if you're following the maths, I'm afraid no one else comes along that's better than anyone you've seen before, so you have to go on rejecting everyone and die alone.Probably surrounded by cats ...nibbling at your remains.
告訴數(shù)學(xué)我們 你應(yīng)該拒絕認(rèn)為會(huì)在狀語(yǔ)從句：你人生約會(huì)周期 前37%時(shí)段出現(xiàn)的任何人有嚴(yán)肅認(rèn)真的婚姻關(guān)系。 接著，你要選擇下一個(gè)人， 那個(gè)比你以前約會(huì)對(duì)象都好的人。 這里舉 幾例 。如果你這么做，從數(shù)學(xué)證明來(lái)看可以認(rèn)為，事實(shí)上這可能是最好的選擇 來(lái)最大化你找到完美伴侶的機(jī)會(huì)。 現(xiàn)在不幸的是，我必須告訴你這個(gè)方法也是有風(fēng)險(xiǎn)的。 比如，想象一下，你假設(shè)完美的伴侶 出現(xiàn)在你約會(huì)歷程的前37% 那就很不幸了，你會(huì)拒絕他們。 如果你相信數(shù)學(xué)， 恐怕你不會(huì)再找到 比你以往見(jiàn)過(guò)更好的對(duì)象， 你就會(huì)持續(xù)拒絕每個(gè)人然后孤獨(dú)終老。 可能會(huì)被貓咪包圍一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)啃食你的遺骸。
OK, another risk is, let's imagine, instead, that the first people that you dated in your first 37 percent are just incredibly dull, boring, terrible people. That's OK, because you're in your rejection phase, so that's fine, you can reject them. But then imagine the next person to come along is just marginally less boring, dull and terrible ...than everybody that you've seen before. Now, if you are following the maths, I'm afraid you have to marry them ...and end up in a relationship which is, frankly, suboptimal. Sorry about that. But I do think that there's an opportunity here for Hallmark to cash in on and really cater for this market. A Valentine's Day card like this."My darling husband, you are marginally less terrible than the first 37 percent of people I dated."It's actually more romantic than I normally manage.
好，另一個(gè)風(fēng)險(xiǎn)是，讓我們想象，相反的， 你約會(huì)歷程前37%里第一個(gè)對(duì)象 極度愚蠢，無(wú)聊又很糟糕。 沒(méi)事，因?yàn)槟氵€在拒絕對(duì)象的階段， 沒(méi)問(wèn)題，你可以拒絕他們。 但想象一下，下一個(gè)出現(xiàn)的人 只是沒(méi)那么無(wú)聊，愚蠢 比你以前的對(duì)象都略好那么一點(diǎn)兒。 如果你 遵循數(shù)學(xué)，恐怕你要和他們結(jié)婚然后沉浸在一段，實(shí)話(huà)說(shuō)，次優(yōu)的關(guān)系中。 很抱歉。 但我認(rèn)為，機(jī)會(huì)還是有的 賀曼公司迎風(fēng)市場(chǎng)需求 出售這樣的情人節(jié)賀卡。(笑聲) “我親愛(ài)的丈夫，你沒(méi)有 我約會(huì)歷程中前37%的男士那么糟糕“。 這比一般的賀卡浪漫很多。
OK, so this method doesn't give you a 100 percent success rate, but there's no other possible strategy that can do any better. And actually, in the wild, there are certain types of fish which follow and employ this exact strategy. So they reject every possible suitor that turns up in the first 37 percent of the mating season, and then they pick the next fish that comes along after that window that's, I don't know, bigger and burlier than all of the fish that they've seen before. I also think that subconsciously, humans, we do sort of do this anyway. We give ourselves a little bit of time to play the field, get a feel for the marketplace or whatever when we're young. And then we only start looking seriously at potential marriage candidates once we hit our mid-to-late 20s. I think this is conclusive proof, if ever it were needed, that everybody's brains are prewired to be just a little bit mathematical.
這個(gè)數(shù)學(xué)方法不能保證100%的成功率， 但也沒(méi)有更好的策略了。 事實(shí)上，在動(dòng)物界，某個(gè)特定種類(lèi)的魚(yú) 遵循使用這樣的策略。 在交配期，它們拒絕 出現(xiàn)在前37%的每個(gè)求婚者， 接著它們選擇37%后出現(xiàn)的下一個(gè) 比所見(jiàn)過(guò)的魚(yú) 體型更加龐大，更加結(jié)實(shí)的魚(yú)。 我想作為人類(lèi)我們潛意識(shí)里也在做同樣的選擇。 我們給自己更多時(shí)間尋找， 在我們年輕的時(shí)候感受婚戀市場(chǎng)。 我們只有在20歲年齡段的中后期 才會(huì)很真尋找潛在的結(jié)婚對(duì)象。 我想這證明了，即使不確定是否需要， 每個(gè)人的大腦都預(yù)配了點(diǎn)兒數(shù)學(xué)能力。
OK, so that was Top Tip #2. Now, Top Tip #3: How to avoid divorce. OK, so let's imagine then that you picked your perfect partner and you're settling into a lifelong relationship with them. Now, I like to think that everybody would ideally like to avoid divorce, apart from, I don't know, Piers Morgan's wife, maybe?But it's a sad fact of modern life that one in two marriages in the States ends in divorce, with the rest of the world not being far behind. Now, you can be forgiven, perhaps for thinking that the arguments that precede a marital breakup are not an ideal candidate for mathematical investigation. For one thing, it's very hard to know what you should be measuring or what you should be quantifying. But this didn't stop a psychologist, John Gottman, who did exactly that. Gottman observed hundreds of couples having a conversation and recorded, well, everything you can think of. So he recorded what was said in the conversation, he recorded their skin conductivity, he recorded their facial expressions, their heart rates, their blood pressure, basically everything apart from whether or not the wife was actually always right, which incidentally she totally is. But what Gottman and his team found was that one of the most important predictors for whether or not a couple is going to get divorced was how positive or negative each partner was being in the conversation.
好，上述就是最高秘訣2號(hào)。 現(xiàn)在，最高秘訣3號(hào)：如何避免離婚。 好的，讓我們想象一下你找到了你的完美對(duì)象 你和他/她進(jìn)入了一生的婚姻關(guān)系。 我假設(shè)每個(gè)人都不希望離婚， 當(dāng)然，也許除了Piers Morgan的太太? 可是，現(xiàn)代婚姻一個(gè)悲傷的 事實(shí)就是美國(guó)離婚率高達(dá)50%， 世界其他國(guó)家也離這個(gè)數(shù)據(jù)不遠(yuǎn)。 當(dāng)然，你可以認(rèn)為 婚姻破裂的原因 不是數(shù)學(xué)運(yùn)算理想的數(shù)據(jù)源。 一方面來(lái)說(shuō)，很難了解到 你該去測(cè)量什么或者是你該去量化什么。但這 并沒(méi)有阻止心理學(xué)家John Gottman做這樣的研究 。Gottman觀(guān)察了數(shù)百對(duì)夫婦的對(duì)談 盡可能錄下來(lái)所有信息。 記錄了對(duì)話(huà)的內(nèi)容， 皮膚的傳導(dǎo)性， 面部表情， 心跳，血壓， 基本上除了“太太永遠(yuǎn)是對(duì)的”以外的所有東西， 當(dāng)然，太太永遠(yuǎn)是對(duì)的。 但是，高特曼他狀語(yǔ)從句：團(tuán)隊(duì)的發(fā)現(xiàn) 最能夠準(zhǔn)確預(yù)測(cè) 這對(duì)夫妻是否會(huì)未來(lái)的離婚 的英文 方在對(duì)話(huà)過(guò)程中積極還是消極。
Now, couples that were very low-risk scored a lot more positive points on Gottman's scale than negative. Whereas bad relationships, by which I mean, probably going to get divorced, they found themselves getting into a spiral of negativity. Now just by using these very simple ideas, Gottman and his group were able to predict whether a given couple was going to get divorced with a 90 percent accuracy. But it wasn't until he teamed up with a mathematician, James Murray, that they really started to understand what causes these negativity spirals and how they occur. And the results that they found, I think, are just incredibly impressively simple and interesting. So these equations predict how the wife or husband is going to respond in their next turn of the conversation, how positive or negative they're going to be. And these equations depend on the mood of the person when they're on their own, the mood of the person when they're with their partner, but most importantly, they depend on how much the husband and wife influence one another.
那些離婚風(fēng)險(xiǎn)很低的夫妻 在戈特曼的測(cè)試中得到了更多正面而不是負(fù)面的分?jǐn)?shù)。 相反的，在糟糕的關(guān)系中， 我是指那些可能離婚的夫妻， 他們發(fā)現(xiàn)自己沉浸在消極的漩渦中。 就用這些非常簡(jiǎn)單的方法， Gottman和他的團(tuán)隊(duì)能夠準(zhǔn)確預(yù)測(cè) 一對(duì)夫妻是否會(huì)離婚， 準(zhǔn)確率高達(dá)90% 但是，直到他與數(shù)學(xué)家James Murray聯(lián)手， 他們才真正找出 那些消極漩渦是如何產(chǎn)生，為什么產(chǎn)生的。 結(jié)果是他們發(fā)現(xiàn) 我認(rèn)為不可思議議太令人驚嘆的簡(jiǎn)單而 有趣 。這些算式，他們用來(lái)預(yù)測(cè)妻子或是丈夫是如何去回應(yīng)他們下一段對(duì)話(huà)， 他們的積極或消極程度是多少。 這些算式，取決于 當(dāng)他們獨(dú)處時(shí)各自的情緒， 當(dāng)他們和伴侶在一起時(shí)候的情緒， 但最重要的是， 取決于丈夫和妻子相互間的影響。
Now, I think it's important to point out at this stage, that these exact equations have also been shown to be perfectly able at describing what happens between two countries in an arms race.So that an arguing couple spiraling into negativity and teetering on the brink of divorce is actually mathematically equivalent to the beginning of a nuclear war.
在這個(gè)階段我認(rèn)為最重要的是， 這個(gè)一模一樣的算式 同時(shí)也可以完美預(yù)測(cè) 兩個(gè)國(guó)家是否會(huì)開(kāi)戰(zhàn)。因此一對(duì)沉浸于消極情緒 在離婚邊緣搖擺的夫妻 - 實(shí)際在數(shù)學(xué)上等同于即將開(kāi)始一場(chǎng)核戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)。
But the really important term in this equation is the influence that people have on one another, and in particular, something called "the negativity threshold." Now, the negativity threshold, you can think of as how annoying the husband can be before the wife starts to get really pissed off, and vice versa. Now, I always thought that good marriages were about compromise and understanding and allowing the person to have the space to be themselves. So I would have thought that perhaps the most successful relationships were ones where there was a really high negativity threshold. Where couples let things go and only brought things up if they really were a big deal. But actually, the mathematics and subsequent findings by the team have shown the exact opposite is true. The best couples, or the most successful couples, are the ones with a really low negativity threshold. These are the couples that don't let anything go unnoticed and allow each other some room to complain. These are the couples that are continually trying to repair their own relationship, that have a much more positive outlook on their marriage. Couples that don't let things go and couples that don't let trivial things end up being a really big deal.
事實(shí)上，這個(gè)算式最重要的部分 是人們給對(duì)方帶來(lái)的影響， 尤其是消極閾值。 消極閾值， 你可以認(rèn)為它指的是 丈夫 討厭到什么程度就能惹到妻子真的暴怒，或者是相相。我一直認(rèn)為美好的婚姻是基于妥協(xié)和理解 并且給對(duì)方留下獨(dú)處空間。 我會(huì)想，最成功的關(guān)系是 當(dāng)那里有非常高的消極閾值時(shí) 夫妻共同選擇不去理會(huì)這些問(wèn)題。 只有在非常嚴(yán)重的時(shí)候才會(huì)嚴(yán)肅討論。 事實(shí)上，團(tuán)隊(duì)得出的數(shù)學(xué)運(yùn)算結(jié)果和后續(xù)研究成果顯示 完全相反的結(jié)果。 最完美的夫妻，最成功的夫妻， 有著很低的消極閾值。 這些夫妻不會(huì)忽視矛盾 給 對(duì)方抱怨的空間。這些夫妻持續(xù)努力修復(fù)他們的關(guān)系， 他們對(duì)自己的婚姻有著非常積極的預(yù)期。 他們不會(huì)忽略矛盾 他們不會(huì)讓一件件瑣碎的小事堆積成為巨大的問(wèn)題。
Now of course, it takes a bit more than just a low negativity threshold and not compromising to have a successful relationship. But I think that it's quite interesting to know that there is really mathematical evidence to say that you should never let the sun go down on your anger.
當(dāng)然，這不僅僅是一個(gè)低消極閾值 和對(duì)成功關(guān)系毫不妥協(xié)的態(tài)度。 但我認(rèn)為，很 有趣 的是真的有數(shù)學(xué)證據(jù)來(lái)證明你永遠(yuǎn)不該長(zhǎng)時(shí)間積存憤怒，太陽(yáng)要下山了。(譯者注：這句話(huà)出自圣經(jīng))
So those are my top three tips of how maths can help you with love and relationships. But I hope, that aside from their use as tips, they also give you a little bit of insight into the power of mathematics. Because for me, equations and symbols aren't just a thing. They're a voice that speaks out about the incredible richness of nature and the startling simplicity in the patterns that twist and turn and warp and evolve all around us, from how the world works to how we behave. So I hope that perhaps, for just a couple of you, a little bit of insight into the mathematics of love can persuade you to have a little bit more love for mathematics.
上述就是我的三條最高秘訣， 有關(guān)數(shù)學(xué)如何讓你有更美好的愛(ài)情和關(guān)系。 我希望，除了作為愛(ài)情秘訣， 它們也展示了數(shù)學(xué)的力量。 對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，算式和符號(hào)不僅僅是一樣?xùn)|西。 它們表達(dá)出自然令人贊嘆的豐富性 以及簡(jiǎn)化 那些我們身邊扭曲，旋轉(zhuǎn)，包圍，進(jìn)化的事物， 從世界是如何運(yùn)作的，到人類(lèi)行為舉止。 我希望，你們也許中的一部分人 能夠了解一些愛(ài)的數(shù)學(xué)運(yùn)算， 能夠讓你愛(ài)數(shù)學(xué)稍微多一點(diǎn)。
Thank you.
謝謝。
相關(guān)文章：